The first time I saw him, I thought he was the most beautiful human being I've ever seen in my life. I thought he was sent from the angels, it turns out he could have been the devil himself. I thought he was perfect, his eyes were the most beautiful eyes I have ever saw, and I really thought a beautiful soul lied behind those eyes. I met him at my best friends house at the time. We went to her house after been out stealing from stores and smoking weed, and I was soooooooo ******* high off of 4 perc 30's and 8 Adderall's. We walked in out of the snow, and he was in the kitchen doing a tattoo for her cousin, I walked into the living room and I knew someone was looking at me, but I was toooooo high to care. I was going to get a beer and my bestie walked in with me and then I really saw him, I looked at him and him at me with those beautiful blue eyes. His arms were covered in tattoos, and he had his eyebrow pierced, and his right side of his lip pierced and a tongue ring, and gages in his ears, and semi long black hair. Apparently Amber knew him and introduced us, she told him I was a juggalette, and it turns out he was a juggalo, he said "oh really" with a big *** smile on his face. Then some people were talking **** about him in the other room and he got mad and went in there talking **** right back, and not afraid to get into a fight. I was ******* in love already. I was so tired from the percs but I couldn't sleep because of the Adderall. He saw that I was tired and said "Honey why don't you go to sleep?" and I went up stairs and my bestie went to bed hours ago, and I couldn't sleep I just kept imagining him coming up stairs to see me. He gave me his phone number, and I never got to call him. The next time I saw him was again at Ambers house. I was high yet again off of downers and she was giving me a piggy back ride into the house, I saw Phil and said hi but he ignored me, so I was like **** you in my head. So we went in the other room and he came up to me asking why I never called him, and I made some bullshit excuse that my phone was ******. He was mad at first but then he was fine with me. He invited me to snort a perc 30 with him and the other guys, then I went out and smoked a bowl with him. I was so high I don't really remember how I got in his car, he had me sit in the passenger seat right next to him. We stopped by one of his friends house, I didn't know anyone, and then we were in a super market parking lot and Amber kept calling me saying that I was in so much trouble with her mom and my sister for leaving with Phil. Cindy (my sis) and her husband came to the parking lot and Phil and them were having a screaming fight, and Phil was saying to them that I'm 18 and I don't have to go with them if I didn't want to, I'm free to do whatever I ******* please, and their not my wardens. Oh my god I loved this man. I ended up going with my sis and from that first very very bad impression they ******* hated him. I dot think I saw him for a couple of weeks but I kept thinking of him for some reason. He called me yelling at me saying that I ****** ambers cousin (which I did) and he was really mad, I told him I didn't but why was he freaking out, we're not even dating. I hung up on him. He must have called me back like 10 20 times. The next time I saw him was in town I called him to come and hang out with me, and my sister would never know. We talked and then had sex under the bridge. My sister kept calling my phone because Amber told her I walked off with Phil. We finished and then I told him I had to go and he kissed me goodbye. She was pissed! I kept seeing him around for months, I would think of him and then the next day I would see him randomly. When my sister and her hubby went to new York for 3 days I had him come over and we got high and had sex on the couch, and it was the best sex I've ever had. I didn't see him again until I ran away. I was homeless for awhile, and then one day I was walking with my other best friend Will and we were going to his place to get high and he was going to let me crash by him, which was in a motel room. I was walking with him and then I saw Phil. My heart dropped, we started talking, and he saw that I got away from my sister and I told him I was going to go smoke a blunt with
Will and then I'd come back to his room and hang out. He told me I better or he's coming to get me with a smile on his face. I smoked and snorted a vicadin with Will and then not even 20 minutes later Phil walked up and got me. He was staying with this girl (we turned out to be like best friends later on) I forget her name, turns out he was ******* her. Me and Phil had sex for hours and hours. And he told me that I was going to stay with him and I said yes. He would tell me he loved me, I was beautiful, different etc. And we would have like a sex marathon, going all day and night. We'd get high and drunk having all our friends come over and party. It was amazing I was the most happiest I've been in a long time. Then I noticed something was off. We went to the mall to hang out with everyone in the park and he went off to do his thing and I went off to do mine. He told me before I left that I better not **** anyone. When I ran into him I was with some guy friends and he got mad hounding me asking if I ****** them and I told him no, and I really didn't **** any of them. Then I saw this ugly girl flirting hardcore with him and he was eating it up. I pulled her aside telling her back the **** off, and he broke it up telling me that he liked her and he wanted to **** her. I got pissed and stormed off cursing him out. I went to Wills room and got snorted some pills to calm me down. Then went back to 'our' room and that girl was there and we were all drinking and Phil had the girl show her **** to everyone then he had me do the same and then Phil came up to me and said that he wanted us to have a *********. I said no at first but then he got me more high and somehow talked me into it. He had me and miss piggy make out and feel up on each other and she wasn't even hot. Then he told me that he's going to **** her first because she never had him before, and I went into the bathroom and took a shower so I couldn't hear them. I tried scrubbing and scrubbing trying to get clean, it was the longest shower I've ever had. After awhile he came into the bathroom and got me out of the shower and said "she could never please me like you can" then we had sex. Then we went to bed all ******* three of us. The next morning Phil and piggy were arguing and she left. After that things just progressed. He would tell his friends that came over how amazing I was in bed, and that I shaved down there, very personal intimate things. When we were alone he slapt me one time because I had the door open and the air was on. I didn't do anything I was just kind of in a shock. He apologized and we had sex. That was the theme, he'd hit me then make up and have sex. He had me say that we were wrestling to people about the bruises. But it was hard to come up with an excuse for a black eye. I just told people I got in a fight with another girl. He started going out more with his friends and had me stay in the room to sell his drugs for him. I wasn't even going to the mall anymore. I was left alone in that room after roommate after roommate started leaving because of Phil. One time he left to his friends house I got a knock on the door and it was him and his friend, Phil was drunk as **** and his friend told me all Phil kept saying was that he wanted to come home to me. He threw up everywhere and I cleaned him up and took care of him. He passed out and I was up and I cut myself and I was quietly crying and he got up and just grabbed me and kind of raped me, he did that he would either wake me up and ***** me naked, and have sex, but it felt like rape when I was crying and he didn't care. Then I was alone for 3 days, he just disappeared for the 3 days before we were being kicked out because he had no more money. I knew he was out ******* other girls, hell he would even bring girls over and then leave with them. My sister came and picked me up and we were packing all my **** and I forgot to mention that one time we were at wawa and Phi found a kitten and I named her Mary Jane and she was our little fuzzy baby, I was the only one who took care of her. We couldn't get cat food so I would give her whatever I was eating. So I packed my **** and the owner put all of Phil's things in a garbage bag and I left with Mary Jane. I didn't talk to him after that day. Then I moved back to mamas. And about 10 different times he some how got my phone number and he would rope me back in into him really loving me and wanting me to come back to him and leave my family. And boy I tried every time he would get into contact with me. And I made my moms life horrible. He even told my best friend on my phone that he was going to beat the **** out of my friend if I didn't talk to him. I was so depressed because I was still so in love with him, but I was starting to see how evil this man really is. I started to question all the things he put me through and realized he never really cared. I would swear that he put a ******* spell on me. Today I am still afraid that one day he's going to show up at my door step and kidnap me, rape me and kill me. I even stopped using my facebook because of him. And I stopped talking to anyone I knew up there not just because of him, but because they were never really friends or family like they claimed they were. **** them. But I know now that if I did run back to him, there would be 3 or all situations I would be-pregnant and an addict, in jail, or dead. I thank God that I woke the **** up and realized how lucky I am now and that it was a blessing in disguise that I got away from him.
UnstableSammi UnstableSammi
22-25, F
Aug 21, 2014