Always One

I guess I am a lone wolf, or a loner.
Often I am alone... when I am with people I can't really talk to people because we are so different. People do not comprehend me often, sometimes it would be nice if someone understood. I don't know though because I am kinda... sadistic and evil inside. Perhaps I can linger to a feeling of being appreciated some, yet I never really am. How should I be with people? I don't know for I can't be like them.
While other carelessly smile and laugh at things and talk, I will stumble on the phrases, on the words, I can not feel myself be satisfied talking of either makeup or cars. Games? Not even that. Nothing anyone talks about is what I would talk of. In the end I am alone in the room. No one around me share my interests, no one share my thoughts, no one share my actions, dreams or feelings. Seeing others I realize they see me as well, but they can not know me. Others... they are not alone, in a way I am the only person throwing a shadow in rooms I am in. I don't belong I guess, and I am fine whit it. At least I can amuse myself that no one will know how to be alone and being alone to me is not really a bad thing.

Being with others lead to snore, but being on alone leaves me free to do things on my own. All my decisions are always my own.
Perhaps that is what makes me alone? That I think myself and do not let other take my choices? Perhaps because I live on my own, I am alone? Still, it is quite peculiar when you stand on a stage with 1000 people watching you and how weird it is to think that no one will ever realize who you are. How that helping someone or hurting them, they will not realize it. What am I to another? Perhaps nothing more than a relic, and I am alone because they can not see me like I see them.
Barlong Barlong
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 18, 2012

Yu more things then you admit to seeing in someone.We all do. Beuty goodness badness annoyingness. WE DECIDE our reactions. We choose to be alone. Because somewhere out in that wide world is people like us. I mean what do we talk about? there is always someone out there worth having. Just go find them and dont stop. The smarter you get and the more you try to make friends the better you will get. For example you annoyed me a lot when we first talked. You were dark and such other things, But i saw past that to who i saw you to be. You were worth rubbing away a few traits to learn who you really were. it is never easy. If it were it wouldnt be worth having

Ah my young Samurai friend has already crossed paths with you.

very truee inddeeed...