Surreal

I remember his smell. The way his voice would waiver when he was on the verge of one of his episodes . I tried to stay out of his way. I remember the last time he put his hands on me. He had ran through all his usual insults. Fat, ugly , disgusting, imperfect, lazy, and whatever else he could muster . I knew he hated me. How could someone love you and destroy you daily. I went to go soak in the bath trying to stay out of his way. All long my heart was pounding and my hands kept rubbing my protruding stomach. Only a few more weeks to go before I gave birth. The warm water engulfed me . Giving me a false since of security. I must of feel asleep .... He came in there ranting and raving about they way I vacuumed the floor. I hurried up and jumped out of the tub only to have the towel grabbed from my hands. Sit he said and I did so. I noticed his favorite knife in his hand and a cigarette in the other . I wasn't cold but I was shaking like crazy. You aren't worth this. I don't want that bastard child....before I knew it I had his knife pressed against my stomach . PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE....I cried. Sobbed. I knew this was it . I stood up and grabbed a pair of tweezers and went for his eyes . Of course he caught me and slammed me to the wall. Later I realized he broke my nose. He threw his knife to the ground and screamed at me . He then grabbed his cigarette and proceed to burn holes in my skin. I passed out after about the fifth burn . When I woke up I was in the hospital in labor. Scared . Alone . He must of called the ambulance and ran. I have been away from him for 10 years now. I still cringe when I hear his name. I pray everyday that my beautiful son will grow up to love women and not hurt them . I still carry those scars reminding me that I survived.
ALL4SMILES ALL4SMILES
31-35, F
10 Responses Nov 18, 2012

That took a lot of bravery to put into words. Distance helps. Did you get any counseling for it?

No. He is not well now. Facing amputation of his foot and in and out of nursing homes at a young age. Karma has found him. As for me, I learned and moved on.

Ill I can think about is how people like that get away with thing like this
I hope he went to prison for attempted murder at least !

You're a survivor & your son will grow up knowing love because of your brave actions!

Thank you!

Oh, my God, this is awful!! It is hard to believe this kind of thing can really happen. I don't doubt what you say, it's just that...

I used to smoke cigarettes long ago, I had a knife (everybody has a knife), and my wife and I had three kids. That is, she was pregnant three times. Now I look at my hands in front of me. I take them off the keys and turn them over, looking at them. Now I try to imagine what could bring those four elements (my hands, knife, cigarette, and wife) together in the way you describe.

And I fail....

You have lived through a real-life, first person horror. Such nauseating, gut-wrenching ugliness. I pray for your recovery.

My dad intervened in at least one case of wife abuse. I think you'd like the story.

I've just now read this story for the 3rd time. Cried all 3 times. I don't understand how anyone could hurt you in any way. You're so precious, and I don't even know you, but I hope to. I could never hurt you, physically or mentally. I was brought up by loving, caring parents. They taught me the golden rule, right from wrong, and Dad taught me how to treat a lady.

that is serious but am happy you survived it and the baby thanks to the lord let the looser go his way

I'm glad that you and your child survived this. Thanks for being able to share your experience for others.

i really really feel for you and hope someone hurts him like he has hurt you you are amazing person

Oh, Good God, Sweetie. How painful and searing for you. Oh, honey, these scars and pains will be with you forever. Yes, time will heal you, and they will fade, but they will never go away completely. The best you can do, dear, is learn to live with them, and in time fold them into you as part of who you are. Do not fear these scars and pains, Sweetie, for if you do, they will always have power over you. Accept them, go on with your life, try not to make them cloud your relationship with others, but never fear them. Oh, God, sometimes I despise being a man!

Wow - that's brutal....I'm so sorry girl :(

It was a very long time ago. It's almost as if it happened to someone else .