Learned From My Past

I would like to share my experience, I am 21 years old happily married with a 2 year old daughter. But my life wasn't always this happy. When I was 14 right before my freshman year of high school I was seeing a 16 year old and I honestly thought he was so amazing. He was my best friends older brother, we had spent so much time together that us dating just felt right. He lived in Las Vegas during the school year and in California in the summer time, so my parents would let me spend summers with his sister in California, so we were always together! When we first started dating he was like a dream come true, bought me flowers, gifts told me how much he loved me, he just made me feel comfortable. After about 4 months he started pressuring me to have sex, and being 14 i was not ready at all! So I made up so many excuses not to do it, he started getting really pushy about it when we were alone, some times he would grab me and start shaking me while yelling at telling me I was a f-ing tease. I was scared, but in love so I didn't leave. I asked his sisters and friends to be around a lot more, so that I wasn't alone very often. He would throw outrageous parties on the weekends and get so drunk he became physically violent towards me. The first time he hit me, I was talking to a mutual guy friend at a party, and he came up to me and sweetly asked if he could talk to me in private, I had no idea what was about to happen. He took me into his room and grabbed me by the hair and yanked me backwards to the ground, he then sat on top of me holding me down and punched me in the face once and slapped me a few times. After about 2 minutes of slapping and yelling at me, he got off me telling me to stay in his room and make myself presentable. I cried for what seemed like hours on his bed, trying to figure out what I did wrong and why this was happening. He came back into his room and climbed on the bed with me, he took my face in his hands and began kissing all of the red spots on my face. I just melted and figured he was sorry and he didn't mean anything by it. He insisted that he didn't mean to hurt me and he was so drunk he didn't realize he was doing it. He apologized and I was stupid and believed him. He didn't pressure me about sex or hit me again for a few months. Life seemed back to normal for us, he was my prince again. Well I found out from his sister that he was cheating on me, and had been since the night at the party. My heart broke, I called him and broke up with him threw a voice mail. He showed up at my house and asked to talk to me, we decided to go for a walk, he apologized for the cheating and said it was my fault and I should have slept with him when he asked me to. I was so appalled by what he said I turned and started running back to my house. He grabbed my arm and yanked me to the ground. I smacked my head on the ground and cracked my skull open. I started screaming and my head was bleeding bad. He ran and got my parents, he told them that we were messing around and I fell down. Of course they bought it because every one thought he was perfect. After two nights in the hospital, I was able to go home. I changed my phone number and stopped talking to him and cut all lines of communication with him. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone what was happening. After a few weeks he left me alone, and I finally started getting on with my life. During my freshman year I met someone and started dating him, I told him what happened with my ex and he promised that he would never pressure me into anything or hurt me. I kept myself guarded but I was finally happy again. We broke up after dating for 3 months, and as soon as we broke up, my abusive ex saw this as a opportunity to jump back in my life. He stalked me and would show up places I was, he continued to hit me for months. I kept telling my friends and my parents that I was being clumsy, I played sports in high school so I used sports accidents to cover up the bruises and the cuts. This continued off and on for about 2 years, I was so terrified that I refused to tell anyone, even his sisters who were my best friends what happened. My senior year which for me was 11th grade since I graduated early, I met my now husband, and I hadn't heard from my ex for about 6 months which was a huge relief! I was happy again and in a safe and serious relationship. I didn't hear from my ex until 2009 when my boyfriend and I decided to take a break and figure ourselves out. My ex showed up with his brother on his rhino one random afternoon. He asked if I wanted to go for a ride, since his brother was with him, I figured I was safe so I did go. I don't remember much of what happened that night, I just remember waking up in the hospital with 3 broken ribs, a broken leg and a sprained wrist and bruises everywhere. To this day I still don't exactly know what happened that night. But I know that at one point I was alone with my ex and I think thats how I got hurt. I finally told my parents what had been happening with my ex. There wasn't enough proof to say it was him that put me in the hospital. But I haven't seen or heard from him since that night. My husband was by my side the entire time I was in the hospital and we got married in 2009. The moral of my story is tell someone, don't hide it because you could end up like me. I could have died because I was so scared and plain stupid.
stopabuseforeveryone stopabuseforeveryone
18-21
Nov 29, 2012