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Scars

I am new to this site, I figured I would try it out and hope to get some support. I was eighteen years old when I got together with my physically and mentally abusive ex-boyfriend. We lived together for a year and a half. We meet over a phone chat line (I know stupid mistake on my part). He pressured me into sex using the classic line, "oh you don't love me". He had a temper; punched holes in the wall. Always putting me down calling me stupid or saying, " there's something wrong with you, your just like your mother". My mother is bipolar, which I am not. He hit me twice on the thigh while we were together. I was stuck I felt, but I was stronger than that. I sat down and took a good look at what I wanted in my future and it wasn't what I had at that present time. It's been about three years now and I still have some trust issues and insecurities of being wanted. I am now with a wonderful man that loves and cares for me. He is the most amazing, caring, loving, honest, and patient, man I know. He would do anything for me and I love him so much. It kills me that I can't completely trust him. I do trust him I am just so afraid of being hurt again, but deep down inside I know he wouldn't do that to me. What are some ways that I can learn to trust fully again?
Sjohn83 Sjohn83 22-25 4 Responses Jan 7, 2013

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I am shocked everytime i see so young people going through such of pain and i am shocked so many womens mostly going through of that kind of stuff i wasn't abused physically to much but emotional and mentaly and i am trying to go out now cos is still time and cos i have a daughter and for her not seeing me again in that state and to makesure she will be having a normal life!! Today he is not having a troubles with her but in some time i recon she will be having that as well and then i loose her and will be totally damage cos she is my best thing i ever can get!! Good luck and i think the trust back to you and happiness will be much fruity then now, take care, much love :)

Thank you for your comments and support. It's been about three years and im still working on getting over my past experience, but I have come a long way.

There's nothing wrong with not fully trusting your boyfriend and you should not feel bad about it or feel like you have to do something about it. Trust can only be earned. With time you will trust again.

you just have to becareful of who you let in your life. Know the red flags of an abusive relationship, that can be found on the National Domestic Violece website at www.ndvh.org you can never be too trusting, but don't let that hold you back from meeting new people. Just know what to look for, once you know those red flags, which usually show up right away when you meet someone, the better off you will be. You made the right choice by leaving him. You should be proud of yourself. Trust takes time and maybe a little therapy would help you to acheive that. Good luck, I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing your storey.