Register

I Have Been In An Abusive Relationship

Please Help Me Help A Friend...

By: GlitterQueenXO
Written on February 15th, 2013
I believe that my chidhod best friend is in an abusive relationship. I have not seen her face to face in almost a year. Ever since around Christmas she has been pretty unresponsive to my messges over facebook. We used to be able to talk for hours and hours, now as soon as I send her a message she comes up with an excuse to go..usually pretty lame excuses, like being tired at 7 pm. Nobody else has seen her either , people have given up on asking her to go out because she always backs out last minute. It all started about a year ago when she started dating a guy about 10 years older. I think he has tried isolating her from her friends and family from the get go. He wanted to move with her 4 hours North of where we all live. I wrote another story about it asking for advice. Luckily it hasn't happened (I don't think). Then again I'm not sure because all of the suden she has stopped responding to me AT ALL. I have sent her numerous messages over facebook and can see she has read them but she will not respond to me, and its really starting to worry me. I just was wondering if anyone who has been in an abusive relationship would have some advice on how I should try to help her? What did your friends or family do to help you?
By: GlitterQueenXO
Age: 18-21 , Female
73 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
5 responses
  • leeniebird
    leeniebird

    Go to the police. An abuser will not stop without knowing that there are legal repercussions (sp?). I found that this is the only way to get the abuse to stop.

    Feb 16
    1 like
    • GlitterQueenXO
      GlitterQueenXO

      I'm not sure how I would go about alerting anyone..the amazing thing is that they are living with her parents (at least they were last time I knew) and this is going on. Her mother and father have a very abusive relationship so to her it must be normal? Every time I try to help her she gets VERY defensive...I'm not sure what to say.

      Feb 21
      1 like
  • Iain321
    Iain321

    Sounds like it, I've known people in abusive relationships and the sad thing is almost in every case I know of there has been drink involved or mental abuse. Sounds like he is probably saying "I don't want you hanging around with them anymore" sometimes it goes even further to family members and saying "Your parents hate me, I don't want you speaking to them anymore". My sister in law and mother in law where both in those type of relationships.

    Luckily for me and my wife I'm much to timid and she is much to confedent. She must lack confidence or if she did not before she does now.

    Feb 15
    2 likes
    • leeniebird
      leeniebird

      I agree about the drinking. My ex-boyfriend would have a "few" beers which would be downed in about 20 minutes. I would tell him it was time to stop-he knew he had a problem-but the drinking would continue (just beer nothing strong) , then the rage (all verbal) would start. The next day he would say he didn't know what happened. It would be good for 2-3 days and then start all over again. I called the police to document the verbal abuse so if he ever does anything again-there is a record. The police will not arrest until a pattern is established.

      Feb 16
      1 like
    • GlitterQueenXO
      GlitterQueenXO

      I have the feeling he drinks and from little things she has said to me in the past few months I think he might be into pills as well...it's very concerning...

      Feb 21
      1 like