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Not My Fault!

No one really knows about my relationship life around me. Once in a while I'll tell a friend...but other than that I keep it from my family...so it was quite hard for me when I found out the one I was seeing was becoming quite controlling and physical.

I never really noticed it at first...it started with little things...more frequent arguements, him getting closer when we'd fight, if something was right or something I did he didn't like...then he'd completely switch into a monster...finally came the hitting, punching, name calling, degrading.

It wasn't fun but...one day I woke up...and realized...I'd rather be alone then put up with this...because my heart grew cold and his I'm sorry hunny and I love yous meant nothing to me. With the help of a really good male friend I was able to be strong enough to tell him I was leaving.

I realized it...I had never done anything wrong and I was nothing that he said I was...and if he couldn't accept me for being me...then that was his problem...and not my fault.

So to my dear friend Nick, who has long since passed, I thank you for giving me that courage and the strength to move on. I thank you for showing me I deserve to be loved and treated with respect not abused or yelled at. I thank you for caring when no one else seemed to...and I thank you for seeing that I needed help when for too long I was silent. You saved my life!

raevynvelcros raevynvelcros 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 25, 2008

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Well I don't think I would have had the courage if it wasn't for my friend. It was actually the second time in my life he had saved me...I kinda beat myself up over the fact I couldn't save his...it breaks my heart....but...I'm quite glad I was able to get out of that situation and move on...thank you for the support and comment.

Well I don't think I would have had the courage if it wasn't for my friend. It was actually the second time in my life he had saved me...I kinda beat myself up over the fact I couldn't save his...it breaks my heart....but...I'm quite glad I was able to get out of that situation and move on...thank you for the support and comment.

That really touched me, im soooo glad you got away...not many women have the courage....im sorry you lost such a good friend...and im sorry this world lost such a decent human being ; ) keep your head up ma...

Thank you so much. Yes, he is always in my heart as a dear friend. I miss him terribly.

I am so glad you found such a good friend in Nick. He sounds like he was an angel in disguise! I am sure he will forever be in your heart for helping you pull through such a horrible ordeal. God Bless you for having the strenght to leave also!