I Don't Know How to Get Out!

I am 21 years old and I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years.  He is always calling me names, laughing about me in front of his friends, and has left me places before.  Last year several times he kicked me out of his apt. in the middle of the night and I had to walk 3 miles up to campus by myself.  I dont know what to do and as soon as it is "over" I find myself getting so upset and i always take him back.  He also put me through a serious depression over the summer and for a while at the start of the school year.  I was on medication and therapy.. ever suicide watch becasue of the things he was doing to me. Please help!! Any advice would be wonderful!!!

Kay0703 Kay0703
18-21, F
5 Responses Feb 25, 2009

take your time Hun and make sure you are doing what's right for you. I think it's a little unfair for anybody to tell you to "stop being a victim" Just be safe.

Not all men are like that. Actually, I don't know any. Find a different family (friends to lean on) and realize that you are worth a lot more than he make you feel. My older sister was abused in college and even though it was 30 years ago, I still get angry when I think about a 15 year old boy getting smacked around by a college man. I took him hitting me to get my sister to realize that I was willing to sacrifice to defend her so maybe she needed to do the same. <br />
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Defend yourself. As a friend of mine says "it's time to put on your big girl pants" and stop being a victim. She was also abused when she was younger.<br />
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Good Luck.

I'm with Caska. You need to work through your own misguided belief that you love this man. What you are experiencing is fear of being alone. You need to get out while you are able to do so on your own two feet. <br />
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Believe me- there is someone out there for you that will treat you with respect and dignity. But you will continue to be unable to find him until you begin respecting yourself and treating yourself with the dignity you deserve. Get out. Heal. Become whole. With your own emerging love of yourself, you will find someone that recognizes the wonderful person that you are. The really neat thing is; in becoming healthy, being alone will not matter as much.

i was in college during my abusive relationship too and it _is_ really hard. As bad as it was i didn't want it to end, even though he was raping me and hitting me... I cant say why because i don't know. i know it sounds cheezy but you might wanna check out the local domestic abuse shelters, because sometimes the offer free therapy and group sessions.. you dont have to go in to talk to them, you can call and ask if they know of any resources for you.<br />
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You deserve better than that.

Reread your story and pretend it is a good friend of yours, what would you tell her to do?