I'm over my ex but I'm not over what they did to me. I don't know if I ever will be. When things were at their worst in our relationship I almost killed myself. I'm worried I'll never be able to be in another relationship because I'm so broken.
mary909 mary909
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 23, 2016

I was with the father of my kids for 4 years. He both physically and mentally abused me. He had girls on the side but I stayed with him to keep my family together. We have two beautiful girls. About 6 years ago he left us to find a better life for us. As soon as he jumped on that plane I had all the will power to leave him. Its taken me 6 years to move on to some one else. Don't be like me and hold onto something not worth it. You will move on and eventually find someone. Just dont waste years over it.

I have felt the same way and I've been out alittle over a year. The last year of my relationship with my abusive husband I had plans to end my life before finding out I was pregnant with our 2nd child. Finding out and being pregnant again was the only reason I stopped myself. Now a year later I have a new man in my life... -technically I've known him forever but our friendship turned into a love relationship after I got out of there. I still think about ending my life. I don't have plans like I did in the past but I think about it everyday that I just don't want to be here living anymore. I lost everything else I had, my children, family, friends, and opportunities because I was so manipulated to stay in the abuse. I'm in a happy relationship but that's all I have now. Its like a single stitch holding that huge deep wound together and hoping it doesn't break. Other then that I've got nothing to live for honestly. I wish that nobody else has to go through what I did and feel like I do now. And that I can heal... and that someday soon these hurt feelings will go away.

Have a little confidence in your own resilience. People can recover even from severe trauma. Maybe you can too.

You're just angry with them. It's understandable. But don't let yourself get to believing you are unworthy or incapable of a relationship just because you don't feel good about something bad that happened with someone who was clearly the wrong choice. You can't go through life constantly thinking that everyone you need is going to someday let you down. If they do you'll never forgive, if they don't you still won't truly trust them. It's not worth it to tell yourself that you cannot heal from this, I believe you can pull through. And you will be happy.