I don't even know how to start. It's been 8 years now and I can't move out as I can't afford maintaining myself and our two daughters. I know this relationship is sick and was persuading him to start the therapy together but he refuses. I am so nervous that I start to shout at my younger daughter and I don't want it as she means the world to me. My older has a school fobia already and I am left alone with all this as always. I am waiting a state psychologist visit as I can't afford the private one.
kikaCosta kikaCosta
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 19, 2016

i can't heart this, because it's sad. I feel for you and your daughters...and I know how hard it is to leave your abuser, especially when you've been brainwashed for 8 years...i get it.
i hope it gets better and that you are able to show your daughters that this is not how it's supposed to be. i don't say that to be rude or judgemental, so please don't take it that way.

thank you. It is easy to say - walk away but I am responsible for my daughters. They should see what does it mean to be respected but they should also have food to eat, clothes to wear, beds to sleep in and it all mainly provides their father. My younger one is only 14,5 months-old so I also have to pay a lot of money for a babysitter. They love their father and he is not so bad for them. He says he loves me although the most of the time I am left alone with all the problems we (my children and me) have to face every morning and day. I offered therapy but his fear I think to change it is just too strong. He doesn't hit me - it is rather me who driven to her extremes and feeling trapped by his mental abuse crashes a plate or sth else. I was sexually abused once by a stranger when I was six and my mother left me to play alone outside so I think it is a kind of psychological pattern - I'm prone to "fall" in such relations. I also experienced it at work whem I was working too much I was useful when a new born child limited my work I got fired.

"he doesn't hit you'. maybe not physically but he's hitting you hard emotionally it sounds. I understand your feelings of hopelessness and being trapped. And yes your childhood trauma has ALOT to do with it. I really hope you find your peace soon.

thank you