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Finding Out What I Am

My life has been pretty messed up until I met my current, and last, husband!

To begin, I got pregnant and had an abortion at fourteen.  I got married at sixteen after I became pregnant again.  I loved the father but we were just too young to get married.  I couldn't stop sleeping around and we got divorced.

My parents were really supportive.  They took care of my daughter most of the time while I got my GED.  I then went on to get an AA degree at the community college.

I had more hangups than the average cloak room!

I met my second husband at church.  He is a wonderful man and almost any woman would love to have him.  He was good looking, kind, and was able to support my daughter and I and provide everything we needed.  However he was very "straight laced" and anything except the "missionary position" was perverted to him.

The trouble was me.  I still couldn't stop sleeping around.  Oh I didn't pick up people at bars or anything like that.  I slept with people we both knew!  It wasn't that I was out howling every night.  I would have a sex partner every few months. 

I didn't know what was wrong with me.  My second husband and I had a descent sex life but something was missing.  I didn't know what.  It was like an itch I couldn't scratch.

The marriage came to an end one afternoon when, in cartoon fashion, my husband came home early and caught me in bed with a neighbor...and her husband!

As you could expect, there was an akward moment!

Anyway, he threw me out and filed for divorce.  I don't blame him a bit.

The news soon was all over town and I became known pretty much as a *****.

I took my daughter and moved way out West to Colorado.  A few years later I met the man that I will spend the rest of my life with.

After we dated a while it was getting pretty serious and I told him all about my sordid past. I asked him if he could live with a woman who had a history of extramarital sex and knew she was going to Hell.

We talked at great length, and in the course of discussion, we both decided that I was submissive!  This was what I had been looking for all those years!  I needed someone to be dominant over me!

Suddenly the sun shone on my life!  I knew now what I was.

We live very happily now.  My husband knows what I need and gives it to me almost every day.  I have discovered bondage and restraints!  I found that I love handcuffs.  Often, when my husband is home, I'll go about my housework nude and wearing handcuffs (fastened in front) and love every minute of it.  Sometimes I'll even sleep in handcuffs.

My husband is kind and gentle with me and is helping me get rid of my religious hangups.  He is a non believer and is helping me to walk "from the darkness of religion to the light of reason!"

He's also got me interested in astronomy.  At his urging, I enrolled in an astronomy class.  Now we enjoy looking at the heavens through his telescope.

My daughter, meanwhile, got married to an insurance agent in Ohio!  She is very happy and I'm proud of her.

Life is good!

terrified terrified 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2008

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wish i had a girl like you