What Is Going On???

So there is this boy (he turned into one) I was interested in, I had just broken up with someone, so I have been feeling very vulnerable and undesirable.
This boy has a lot of qualities that I would look for in a friendship, but I was hesitant at first to open up and let him in at all and even just vent to him.
He'd tell me to take a chance and just vent if I need to and that he was there for me.
He know's I have a son and that I haven't been wanting to let anyone in his life since his father.
This boy has been coming over in the evening's here and there if I've needed company and he's been inviting me to his BBQ/Pool parties he throws every summer.
I mentioned I want to take Caden swimming and he said well bring him to my place.
I was really unsure of that and just said maybe.
He and I ended up fooling around a couple of times and the first time when it happened I said no right away that I can't.
So eventually we just chatted for the night and he went home.
He told me that night that I should figure out what I want.
He texted me the next day and said that he would make a ****** boyfriend (I think was crap.)
I told him, that we never talked about dating so not to worry and I am not looking.
Eventually we still kept chatting and he'd still hit on me and he still get me to open up a bit, but I also wanted to see if he'd open up and he did a little bit.
I'm not completely naive, just can't read individual minds.
So there was another night we got together and the same thing happened pretty much and that things got pretty heavy (we almost) ended up having sex, but we didn't. I stopped it again. I got freaked out because he's a new person and I'm still emotionally broken.
I know he knew this because he'd always willingly back off when I needed him to, he'd give me my space and he always to knew what to say etc....
So we still kept in touch and we made plans to meet up on the long weekend (just passed) and we where going to make some food before we drank.
Well we never ended up making our dinner that we had planned, but he came over at 8pm like he planned the second time and even called to say he was on his way.
So we ended up getting really drunk and I mean really drunk.
We ended up having intercourse and I didn't really remember some of the night to be honest.
We where fine the next morning, but feeling kind of rough from the night before.
It seemed like he was ok with everything and he even stayed for part of the day until late after noon.
Though, he's been avoiding me since then.
Just yesterday he admitted to it.
He said he's been avoiding me and he's sorry, but he wanted to at lest be honest about avoiding me.
We've known each other a really long time and he's told me before that he's liked me before, but nothing ever came of it that time.
I know I should have trusted my gut and just continued on and not have opened up anything to him at all.
He has not spoken to me since yesterday and I just have stopped trying to confront him at this point and am giving him space to figure it out.
I don't know how much space I should be willing to give.
I also have taken care of my self and made sure I went to a clinic etc...
I don't understand why the need to avoid me though.
I never would have seen that coming with the type of character he is.
He's always very blunt and honest.
Any idea's on what this could mean or how to handle this?

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1 Response May 24, 2012

I think an honest evaluation as I see the situation is going to hurt pretty bad.