My Uncle Molested Me As a 6 Yr Old Boy...

It continued well into my teens.  He sodomized me around 11 or 12.  I still wish it had never happened to me.  

I am very confused even as an adult.  Even in my molestation, I craved the attention and wanted to experiment with other boys and even had crushes.  If I had never been molested i believe at least THEN I would have had a choice to be gay or straight.

I am constantly depressed and really dont like myself.  I find it harder and harder to be sexually excited about my wife and to top it all off I am addicted to gay ****.

I really dislike my life. 

flynnonlyson flynnonlyson
21 Responses Aug 6, 2009

I wish I could have traded laces with you, I wanted to be molested as a young boy

Me to

I was molested at 13 by a 40 year old .he paid me 50 cents to sodomize me. he took my shorts and we got doggie. i leaned my nose to the lawn mower gas tank and started sniffing and getting high. he said good boy ! its big and fat and long he put petrolium oil on his dong & my bum an fingers me. he mounts , presses and thrustingly INJECTS ME WITH ALL OF HIS SHAFT! i holled Yes your big . he road me hard for 10 min. and then he filled me with his man egg cream.he slid it out. i turned quicly and grabbed his big dong and we looked at each other and he domanantly said you will obey me. i opened my mouth and he let me clean it with my toung . nobody knew everett. he was abusive . i called him Master ! he called me slave.

I always wanted someone in my life like that.

It may be that you have genuine gay feelings along with your straight sexual feelings...most people have some of both in varying degrees. One question about your uncle....I assume he didn't t force you and you enjoyed the contact.....I am wondering how something positive for you at the time has become a regret now......

Hi...sexuality can confusing , true, but the feelings are 100% Natural..maybe less about the past and more about now...l. Sex is fun,,, M

My friend Joby was molested by his uncle, his dad, and their friends when he was young. When I was 15 I went over to his house one time. I usually call bu I didnt that time. I walked around the back of his house to knock on his window like I usually do and caught him doing something I never expected. He was sittin on his couch in his room with his pants down around his ankles. Beside him on the couch was his 7 year old brother, kneeling down, sucking his ****. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Their he was getting a ******* from his little brother. He kept giving him tips on how to do it better and stroking the back of his head. I watched them for like five minutes just paralyzed in disbeleif. Eventually I shook myself out of it and knock don the window. I surprised the he'll out if them. Joby came out to he porch when I walked around the house and started begging me not to tell anyone and making up excuses and stuff. I was a horny teenager and what I'd seen had got me hard as a rock so I did the only logical thing I could think of. I asked him if he could have his brother suck me off to. After that day I would go over to his house everyday and me and Joby would give his brother candy to take turns giving us head. He eventually got really good. I never blew my load in his mouth cause I thought it was mean but Joby like ******* is Spencers mouth all the time. I imagine the reason he started doing that us because he was molested. If he hadn't been molested it probably wouldn't have happened. Spencer turned out to be gay later on.

Sounds like Spencer liked to suck **** because he was gay....not really about being molested. not many boys know and understand sex...but some definitely do and they should not be treated as victims of activities they seems to me.

I was introduced to sex by my mother and it went on for three years later I became gay. I have mixed feelings about being molested. Some time I think the largest problem is what society says and you have to take that info in everyday. I think it is best not to hate. Question can you say you did not enjoy the sexual play that your uncle did to you? Did you develop the hate and regret later after it was over with? I in some ways think boys enjoy sexual things and experience and only later tell them selves that did not.<br />
What is your honest opinion of that uncle right now? Would you still talk to him? Did you ever wonder what caused him to do it, maybe perhaps it was done to him and he did not then see anything wrong with it. Many questions difficult answers

When I was 5 through 7 my step dads foster dad raised me for a few years through my mothers separation from an abusive biological father. It was just me in Cary in the country side of Vermont. I rember being happy. But then... Being asked to take my clothes off repeatedly. Undressing dressing. Walkin around with my penis out. Showering with him. Him batheing me. Outing baby powder on me as I spread on the bed. I remember it vaguely. Some touching but all I remember is being hapy loved and cared for. Until after he passed I found a video tape of me naked as a child. And the things he did to me and had me do. And I was smiling. I didn't know what to think. I don't even rememeber doing any of it. It stopped as I got older. I guess I liked it then but I'm confused.

You remember feeling happy AND cared for.... Sounds pretty good! Maybe leave it at that ....those things were then, AND now you have your own life AND choices to Make.....Make your choices about today, and try Not to vilify people you loved...,,,you have the Power to choose......choose happiness!

Your comments are really upsetting. The things you say remind me exactly of what a child-victimizer would say.

Let people feel upset and regret if that's how they really feel.
Don't make them think that they should be happy with what has happened.

I think it is different for everyone.

I had therapy years ago because I molested someone and I was asked if I was ever molested as a kid, I said know but when he asked me to tell him about my child hood I told him I didn't remember hardly any of it, he thinks I was molested and as many kids do blocked it all out. I don't know if that is true or not but if it is, I wish I could remember because I have always wished that I had been molested by older men. Maybe I was.

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I have been married to a man for 20 years and he has told me he was molested by his uncle at the age of 8 he is really messed up i feel he has homosexual tendencies and have even (in anger) expressed it and it unfuriates him, that just leads me to believe me more that he is and there is nothing wrong with that but he needs to really come to terms with what happened to him and stop blaming me, to him i am nothing but a lyar, and a cheater, and i dont love him and dont want him (sexually) its as though he blames me for everything, he is very insecure even about his penis size and it is average, although he does seem more comfortable using sucking with his mouth as sexual ex<x>pression and has always loved rectal penetration. He is a sex addict and a **** addict and now (i am 9 years older than him) menopause has hit me and i take lots of blood pressure medicines and antidepressants that interfere with your sex drive but he takes none of that into consideration. Its always im cheating and lying but GOD knows im not but icannot convince him of anything, and after 20 years of trying to convince him i cant take it anymore he promised to get help but never does he has also been a meth addict for many years i dont think there is any hope for this marriage,but at least i have tried. I have become a total recluse and never leave home without him or my daughter i have no life and he still accusese me and says im lying any suggestions from anyone or is this situation hopeless.

Hi, I am also in the same situation as your husband, I was also robbed of my spirit when i was six, I also feel for the wives who cope with us. It is very damaging to us as we feel so much anger, worthlessness, betrayal, humiliation all our lives. I am currently 41 and ready to prosecute and I have and going through the hard times doing it. My advise to you would be to get him council ling, Psychiatry and you also as his uncle also robbed you of a good life too. But please be supportive of your husband as it hits guys twice as hard then women because we are looked upon by others to be the strong ones. Not to say women don't suffer we all do. Pedophiles are selfish monsters. good-luck to your husband. I understand what he goes through. tell him to quit the drugs and get help, drugs will ruin him more.

my husband was also molested at a young age. He is now bi-sexual and looks at gay ****. Being molested does effect your sexuality, that is why I wish people would just stop. I worry all the time about my boys. I have a 4 year old and a 5 year old, both boys. It is hard to be a wife and to know that your husband desires things that you just can't give... but don't be too hard on yourself.

If you find your boys playing around (with each other or with friends), will you freak out? Kids -boys especially- are innately sexual and have sexual feelings and thoughts. Don't, please, let your feelings about your husband and your fears about molestation interfere with their normal sexual development, which can and often does involve experimentation and other sex, even at very young ages.

Please just teach your boys to be able to say no to adultos about nothing they don't like concerning their bodies,....i always say kids are the boss of their bodies....they ....they

I am living the same situation is there a way you can send me a private message I would like to have someone to talk to about this?

You can give him what he wants if you really want to and can handle him being with other men. Take him to the adult book store or adult movie theater where he can enjoy himself, maybe he will love you more. I have known couples to do this.

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God can help you. Yuo can't really trust too many church people these days, but will have to go straight to God about it & pray fervently. Also, get some elderly church people to pray for you -- only give vague info -- getting them to put you on their prayer list at some churches where the people really believe in God & prayer. even the bible says that praying without believing is not very effective...and that the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. So,'ve got to get those kinds of people praying for you. You might also post some anonymous prayer-requests on internet prayer-request sites. On those, you can open up more anonymously perhaps, if you wish to. Due to the past problems, however, the enemy of your soul has a sort of "foot in the door" on you, so you will have to really stand firm as best you can, yourself, also. Once a person tastes a type of pleasure, it can be difficult to refuse. Even something as simple as sugar-addiction can be a tough habit to break in a country rampant with sweets & sweet drinks. I hope & pray for your best.

yea i was molested at 5 by someone i dont remember the face but i know because i would 69 my 4 year old cousin and he taught my other cousin and it went so on. My family moved around alot so iv had countless experiances with boys and girls. I was molested by older cousins on many occasions with different cousins due to my parents having too much trust on fam. they would dry hump me nothing too fkd up until i was 10 thats when my cousin who was 13 sodomized me he wasnt that into puberty and used a type of lube, i felt minimal pain so i didnt panic... i didnt noe then but now i noe that its ****** up, back then he would suck me and make me feel good.I was an extremely attractive kid and was pleasured by both boys and girls alike. most long lasting one was with my cousin who was 4 and i was 7 and we did alot of messed up **** we did stuff all the way uptil he was 10 and i was 13. i remember we used to sleep over and do stuff for hours without being disturbed i took his virginity when i was 10 and he was 7. I am now 20 and regrett not one thing. i wrote this too let it out havnt really told any one person all my experiances and never will. If i sit here and write even half of them i can go on for a while. Me and my cousin have already talked to each other and have an understanding that what ever that had happened was mutual and for both of our pleasure. I have never taken advantage of anyone ever and all my encounters were mutual. I am the only one that hasnt gone fricken koo koo even without therapy. My mom noes i was molested dad doesnt. some other family members know al females. none of the uncles or older guy cousins know what thier little brothers did to me while they were growing up .I intend to keep it that way. Family is important and you cannot stop sexual bahavior in children even though you think they stopped they didnt, they just got better at not getting caught.

I ladmire your honesty, I think I culd relate more to what you are saying. : )

thi s line is awesome: Family is important and you cannot stop sexual bahavior in children even though you think they stopped they didnt, they just got better at not getting caught.

If no one forced you and you sought it out, is it really molestation? Wouldn't it just be sex then? We like to say that kids can't consent... and maybe this is true for kids who have no idea about what sex is. But it sounds to me like (once you had been introduced to it) you liked it, wanted it, and participated not just willingly, but eagerly. I would not call this molestation.

GOD and your own self control can get you over your d*ck addiction and GOD can also give you a high sense of value for yourself.

two of my uncles molested me and now he know my whole family know and he is dening everything can i still make a police report!?

Yes. I did. It is hard, but in my life it has been rewarding for the fact that I stood up to him and showed him that I was not going to let him try and get away with it. There is a chance that nothing will happen, but atleast YOU know that you tried!

so sorry that you all have had to go through such horrible experiences. It breaks my heart that this even happens, but even more so that it's at the hands of family members. Does your wife know your background and your tendencies for gay intimacies? I think you need to be fair to her and tell her. Especially if you are having difficulty with being close to her. She may be on here, writing that she's in sexless marriage or can't figure out why my man doesn't want to be with me. My husband was abused by a Catholic priest for many years. I've seen the devastating results and what emerges when you become an adult and try to deal with the issue. I pray that you will be able to heal and find peace in your life. Many hugs

hi i have been molested by a 45 yrs old men....and now m i thinking that m going to addicted,<br />
and i dont want to be plz suggest me. what i have to do.

I was molested by my uncle too. i think because of it i have not real desire to have sex at all or even marry. There is nothing bad with being gay. in fact i wish i had more gay friends to i could have someone i knew i could cuddle up with without worring. i hate being touched by people im not formillure with. if the person makes you happy then it doesn't matter if its a girl or boy. and people who say differently can go screw themselfs! hope you feel better.

I think Carmen is right, It doesn't matter if you are gay, people arnt going to look at you any differently, I as a child didn't know what was going on I was at a very young age, by two family members. I know exactly how you feel, I always felt miserable and didnt really go out a lot because of it, and it caused alot of issues later on in life, but you are not alone...

I also have been sexually abused. By several family members. I have a hard time trusting any one. But I think it is a choice to be gay or straight. I also think it is a choice to molest. I am not saying it is your fault that you went threw this. I am saying it is there fault and not yours. People often say if you was molested you are going to molest some one else. I don't believe it. I think it is a person choice to molest. If your have sexually thoughts about little boys you should get help. You don't want to put any one threw some thing you went threw. Remember how you felt when some one was doing this to you. I know it doesn't feel good.

it is a fact that most abused children are abused by someone they know or a relative. Also i have observed that a lot of boys who are molested normally by a male relative then go on to be gay. I believe that this is because their first sexual encounter is with that sex, somehow that experience stays with them or perhaps thats their way of making that abuse seem more bearable. Dont knock yourself its not your fault.

I know how you feel about being molested by a family member I have been there two, It never stopped till I moved out, Keep your head up and keep a blog of things or a journal about how things make you feel, Might help, I know it sometimes helps me :)