Waiting For The Biopsy

The doctor couldn't remove much of the tumor. I am all over the board with feelings. A large part of me wants to blame myself for not seeing it sooner. For the past few years she was the picture of health. Such a happy dog. I would check her for lumps or ticks. She only had that cyst on the top of her head that we had removed. Mast Cell Tumors are like this...they sneak up on you. They can be squishy or hard. And you can never tell unless you get it tested. Hers just showed up mysteriously and blew up in size. Then...it got smaller. I couldn't understand it. So, we're just waiting. Whatever it is snuck up and took over her paw.

She has not shown any symptoms of being sick. We just brought her in for her annual. That bump kept getting smaller and bigger and smaller so I wasn't sure what it was. The substitute doctor that saw her for her annual was such a crook. She wasn't personal. She just laid down that we needed to pay $600 for a biopsy. It's not the money. I'm going to set aside the couple grand if we need to do something intensive for her. It's just...she sounded like she was trying to make money. NOT make the right medical decision for my dog. So we waited for our regular doctor to come back. He's made very sound decisions with our dogs health. Does excellent surgery and follow ups. And is more than welcome to send us to better specialist whenever our dog needs it. He will take our business where our dog needs it and not for profit. When he saw it, he was more personal...but...he suggested amputation...

*cries

She just had surgery for the biopsy and attempt at removal on the same day as my birthday. It had to be that day. I couldn't wait any longer, really. I am looking at her limping around on her paw that is having trouble with bleeding. I am constantly checking on her. Tending to her. We spent last night cleaning her bandage and feeding her lots of treats, cuddling and comforting her. They couldn't get much of it because a lot of her important tendons, ligaments, veins are wrapped around it.

I don't know what I am going to do. Putting her through therapy is going to be so physically tough. But is it worth having a few more (hopefully happy) years in HER life? I want her to have the best quality of life. Will it be? Is she healthy enough to go through it? She is seven so she's not too much of an older dog. I don't know. They say...it could come back so amputation could be the best option. Three legs but no return of the mct or possibility that it spreads to the lymph nodes. This is hard...I know I don't have to make the decision yet but it's consuming my mind. She can't make that decision for herself. She can't say what she wants or doesn't want. So it's very important to really think about this clearly...

But I shouldn't make myself a wreck over it. She needs me now. I know that much. The most I can hang on to is absolute faith...and each other...just cherish each moment we have together... : (

Tekkamaki Tekkamaki
31-35
4 Responses Feb 23, 2010

Here's the bottom line: is she still having fun? Dogs live to have fun - there's no moment but this one, in their lives. We are the guardians of their quality of life, and we have to be the ones to make the decision. If the overall trend is more bad days than good, and the prognosis is no improvement in sight, then it's time to make the hard decision. But if you believe that your dog has happy days ahead, and could manage ok with three legs (and many dogs do very nicely on three legs), then that's where you need to be. Remember: there's no day but today for dogs, and that means she isn't going to mourn that leg, or worry about the effects of the loss on her long term outcomes... she's just gonna think about it's impact on running and jumping, and she'll be able to still do that once it heals.

This is so up and down for me. One moment she is in pain, another moment she is running around bouncing all over the place smiling at me and won't sit or lay down. She wants to play and all I want to do is just hug her...

No words, just one huge ((((HUG)))) for you...

Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that. I believe any decision you make is good for her. She will know that. Be strong, for her. *hug*