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I Was Raped By My Friend

Being typical children at my primary school, people had a tonne of fights, but we got over them quickly. During another childish fight in Year 4, I wandered off and started talking to the "black sheep" of the class, a male [who I'll keep nameless] who practically everyone hated. Over time him and myself became friends, then some of my friends joined the group.

Nearing the last few weeks of Year 6 and the end of Primary school, we were just having a normal conversation when I felt myself be pushed to the ground. Instincts [sp?] told me to hit him off and I tryed but I couldn't, because he was putting all his weight on me so that I couldn't breathe. Luckily, he didn't get very far that time, but I was a frickin' idiot and didn't run, because, throughout the week, he abused me, pulled down my pants and shoved his hands into me.

On the last day of school, he brang one of his friends with him and they held me down, his friend forcing his lips onto mine so I couldn't scream [and God how I tried to scream], while he did more things to me and I could feel it start ripping. This went on for an entire hour and I have no idea how that happened because we were in school.

By the end of it I was shaking but I tryed to cover it up because I was scared that if anyone found out he would hunt me down the next year [we were/are going to different high schools] and do more things. So I just went home and had a shower to wash the blood from where I'd torn.

It's been less then two years, little over one since it happened [I'm now 13, Year 8] and whenever I feel someone even just tap my back I flinch away and try to run. I tried to get counsilling but I never heard back from her so now I guess I'm just going to live with this stupid fear in the back of my head.

I've never told my family about this, only a few friends know.

I also started cutting myself last year just to feel something other then that.

Bloodrage Bloodrage 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 24, 2009

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I am so sorry to hear this. I have been in similar situations and i am always here to talk. About the counsiling, i really just encourage you to keep calling and even try to find others who are more supportive. I have to ask you to please try to stop cutting yourself. I know it is hard to do but you need to try. What helped me was that I would wear a rubber band on my wrist and when i felt that i needed to cut i would snap it against my skin. I has the same basic effect but without all of the horrible side-effects that can happen when you cut. I don't know if you have told your parents or not but I swear, it will help you to tell someone. It will help you feel like your not alone in this world. I commend you on being brave enough to share your story on here. I am 16 and I am always here to talk if you need it.

you can talk to me if you need to... im ALWAYS open to talk

I can't believe that no one posted anything here. Maybe that is good. Maybe the sick pups are off in other areas, but My god that is terrible. Honestly I would tell your parents and get it out in the open. It will be harder on them than you, but your just prolonging the pain and suffering by holding it inside you. <br />
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Another reason to tell them is you must get past it as best as possible so that it does not interfere with relationships down the road. <br />
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I know plenty of women who have been were you are. Many bottle up their emotions, and they find it hard to trust people. Especially men. I don't want you to suffer more. Bring the pain up to the light and the poison will start to diminish. Over time it will not be as much of an issue if everyone knows.<br />
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As for those boys . . . I leave that up to you and your parents but they are animals. I am sorry. What a crazy world huh?