So Violent, I Feel The Pain 20 Years Later

While my journey through my mind continues i keep on remembering more abuse.

Now i know that he not only drugged and raped me but he tortured me so i would cry, while on the influence of this drug that he gave me my mind would shut down as he continued tu hurt me more and more and eventually i became a soulless body, at that point was that he started raping me and punching me in the face, i can feel all my head hurting, i can feel him dragging me trough the flor.

I can feel his energy he is desperate to hurt me, to make me cry, to see me suffer, but my inner self knows best --don't cry, don't move' dont breathe -- that's what it tells me and i obey. He leaves me there on the flor, a helpless little girl, just trying to recover from the brutal damage that har "daddy" gave her.

There isn't a moment o don't feel the pain.
magmariel magmariel
1 Response May 11, 2012

Keep in mind, sweetie, that the pain that you "feel" now is just memory—and catharsis. What you kept bottled up for so long is now coming out, so that you can heal.