Reading These Stories Makes Me Understand What I Have Been Through Better

I feel like a very precious part in my life has been taken away from me. It happened when I was 11 and kept on for almost a year and it was my stepfather's fault. 1 year in someone's childhood is a long time and it is what I always think of when I think back to my childhood. I have tried to live a normal life after this and tried to prepare myself for a long academic career. Although this horrible year in my childhood has often me feel so unworthy of reaching my academic goals and other goals in life. I didn't tell anyone of this until I was 17 and my mother was the first one to know and I have only told the very few people I know was necessary to know about this. I have always remained very strong even though hiding this was very difficult. I can not imagine someone being through something similar without having talked about this with anyone could live their lives just like it never happened. I have noticed that such things are happening too often to younger children and people. The most difficult part is the fact that my stepfather still lives with us and that my mother who is not as strong did just act like it did not concern her and tried to avoid knowing this. She did of course react a bit when I told her and she got angry about this but then she also said hat even though I hate him, he can also be a good person. She said that he helps her with the laundry, cleaning and taking care of my little brother. I can not understand why this makes someone a better person and free from something like sexually abusing another person. From my experiences, I know that my mother was wrong to not help me but also that it is difficult for weaker people to understand this and to do something about this. Instead, I tried to help myself, so I confronted my own stepfather about this and got some professional help with getting on with my life. My stepfather is paying back for what he has done (even though in theory, it is impossible). I am just trying to continue with my life and accept that this is my past and it should not affect me in my present (even though it always will but I will still have the strength to move on). I know that it was never my own fault. If it would have happened today I might have been more aware and stronger to say no but back then, I was a child and he should have known better! I can never forgive someone who has taken the responsibility and done something like this on someone else.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

I totally understand you! I've been there, my biological father molested me when I was little. Telling my mother didn't change anything, she told me that I must have imagined it or that I'm just exagerating. I decided to stop talking to them and I think it was one of the best decisions ever.Now I'm thinking about telling the rest of the family. If they act like nothing happened, at least I won't feel guilty for not talking to them neither. Be strong and have faith that it wil lone day be better!

I am happy to know that u are moving in in ur life..i would like u to join us and lend a hand to other victims of this abuse..only if u wish u can write to us..people wil be privilaged to know about the way u deal with ur life..