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My Uncle Raped Me For 6 Years

the older I get the more I realize what happened to me, and the more I realize how long it went on. The first time that my uncle molested me it was my 4 birthday, I hade told my mom that I hade wanted to dress myself so she and my stepdad  were downstairs getting ready for my party, and my uncle came upstairs to my room to wish me happy birthday. Me and him hade always been really close he was always so nice and friendly and he always let me get away with stuff, but when he came in my room that day i was in the middle of getting dressed and my dress wasnt on yet, he said he hade a special gift for me...He picked me up and sat me in my chair and undid his pants and exposed himself to me(i have 36 boy cousins now and about 24 back then so i wasnt unuse to seeing boys things) but i hade never seen a grown mans before and i was alittle scared, he told me that if i wanted my gift i hade to put it in my mouth, i said no, he said i hade to lick it for him(i was raised to do what grown-up said) so i did, he moan and told me he loved me and that i was a good girl, but i hade to put it in my mouth if i want to go down to the party, so i did, he grabbed my face and made me give him head, till he was done, i remember him panting and tell me he loved me while he held my nose and put my hand over my mouth telling me to swallow, so i did, and he hugged me tight, i was crying, i told him i didnt like it,he said he was sorry and that he didnt want me to tell anyone that i didnt like his gift cause he didnt want people to know i didnt like it, he gave me candy and told me to get dressed. after that he didnt really try anything so extreme but he was always hugging me to tight or insisted on bathing me then lock the door and let his hand 'wander', and he'd make me change infront of him and even if i was dress he'd tell me to try different outfits on in front of him. i didnt think it was to weird  cause i came from such a big family and i was the only girl so people were aways bathing me and being nice.

It's was bad but i didnt know any better and it wasnt hurting so it was under control till i was 7 then my older brother got sick and no-one knew why, it happened when i hade the chickenpox so people were blaming me for it, one day i came home from school and my mom and my brother were gone, and no-one would tell me were they hade gone, all my (step)dad told me was that they we're gone and that cause of he job he wouldnt beable to get me to and from school so i would have to go stay with my auntie anne (which was great cause she hade four boys and i loved my cousins) but i was starting to get scared of my uncle cause i was getting older and he was still watching me get dressed and bathing me when he could even though i was bathing myself at home. but i hade to go, the first day was amazing, me and my cousins played all day and at bath time my uncle wasnt home. but that night he woke me up(there house was solid wood and he had music blasting from the living room so the all the rooms could slightly hear it) he asked me if i love him, i was 7 and i did love him so i said yes then he kissed me on the mouth and put his tongue in my mouth, i pushed him away and pushed my back up against the wall on the other side of the bed but he grabbed my leg and pulled me back he told me that no-one loved me that my mom left cause she did want me and nether did the rest of my family he said that my aunt was cheating on him and he wanted someone to love him and for him to love he said that no-one wanted me but him, he said that he loved me and that, that was how people who loved each other kissed. i let him kiss me and i cry and tryed to get away while he molested me....it hurt so bad i still remember every word he said and every breath he took i remember every pain i felt, i remember him getting up and saying that, that was enough for now and that he loved me and he would show me how much he loved me the next night. that night i stayed up and cryed all night and in the morring i told my aunt i was sick, that night(the second night i was there) my uncle raped me....i screamed and cryed and begged him to stop! i cryed for my mom,(as most 7 year olds do when there in pain) and he said she wasnt coming for me, he said no-one was coming to save me, he said that the only person that even care about me was him, i told him he was hurting me and he laughed and said good, he even licked the stream of tears running down my face. when he was done he said if i told anyone they would hate me and think i was a dirty girl for saying it, he said that he hadnt wanted to do it but i had made him do it, he said it was my fault and that i had brought it on myself...and i believed him...a part of me still does. 

that happened every night and because me and my cousins went to different schools he would take me and my aunt would take my cousins and he'd make me do things in the car. after 2 weeks in that house my uncles was bathing me and dressed me in my nicest church clothes and told me to sit in my room......the priest from my uncles church came(my uncle was catholic)i thought maybe we were going to a wedding or something when he came in the room, but he walk over and kneeled infront of me and told me i look beautiful...he raped me....the whole time i cryed and looked and my uncle's shadow under the door...i kept hearing the priest say he was sorry and that he was trying to be gentle, he told me it was his first time, which i believe(i had gone to mass once with my uncle and a man of the cloth, a man who gave up everything for god, he saw me once and just gave it all up...there most be  somthing  wrong with me)

my uncle raped me till i was 13 and the priest till i was 12....i've only told this to one person my whole life, and he told my uncle i had told him so they both raped beat and torchered me telling me to never tell anyone else....as the months passed my uncle got more and more violent he beat, burnt, cut, torchered and sodomized me for years and i never said a word, and when my mom came back and i left he would beat my cousins 4 no reason till i came back...so i went back to him.....i let him hurt me to save them. thats why i get so angery when people say i'm selfish....cause i gave up everything for my family, my childhood, my body, my innocents, my obility to love and be loved. i cant even sleep anymore, i cant take showers with the shower curtains closed, and people cant touch me. i dont hug or stay in a room alone with my stepfather, who is the worlds best stepfather and i know it hurts him...if you met me you would never know what happened, i'm all smiles and jokes but...it hurts...it always hurt.....i still see him, smell him, feel him....i dont sleep cause my body rejects it cause since it happened hes all i dream about, and its so real, its like be raped all over again.

i have never told a soul this...i'm dealing with it, i don't let it effect my daily life ....Wow...there it is....there is my childhood.

leeannza leeannza 16-18, F 207 Responses Jul 2, 2007

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You poor soul, my unlce also raped me it was my first childhoid memory, I told my family when I was 25, my dadvjust told me to forget about it and went ahead seeing his brother who raped me, and the rest ofvthe family didntn belive me, one of my cousins abused me calling me a liar when I was out shopping, iv never seen my cousins or aunty and uncles since, it ****** ne off that they all thought my uncle was the best guy, when my dad briefly talked to me about it before ge brushed it under the rug, he said it had happened to someone else too, one of my cousins? Or many of them. Im 36yro now and I forgive my family for not beliving me and I will bring it up one more time andvif they listened they would belive me! All I can say is im glad his dead, while 100s of people went to his funeral I smile at tge news of his death, I loved my unlce but I will never forget what he did to me and why on earth would I make a story up like that about my uncle.
I hope you get the help you need to undersrand/survive, its not your fault some people are just sick! Good luck and dont rely on your family seek counseling, you will be safe abd happy again xo

I'm sorry that happen to you kimlp. I hope that as well felt a little better just letting that out.

For leennza hasn't been log in since Last Seen May 12, 2010

So, what's the point of you telling all of this, so that we just can cry and feel sad for you?
How can I help if I don't even know your name?
I'm sorry, but YOU make it normal and all of you who lives in fears, binded like slaves.
how many girls, how many people should also suffer from scum like that born by our society?
think of it! you should tell everyone, EVERYONE around you! speak or be silent!

tresq, maybe you didn't realize. But that girl haven't been since 2010 in a long time.
People don't give out their first name because of that.
They don't do that, just to make you cry or feel sad.... That's just being a jerk.

I understand that. I just got so impressed by reading this post and I've read all those responses... They are just like taking pity on her... and I am not. Am I only one who wants to kill this man? There's probably something wrong with me... or with this society.

There is nothing wrong with you. I'm sure if the cops saw that to... They would want to kill that man as well.

Did u ecen read that sad story? Its hard very hard

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Can Some1 Pleasee! Pleasee! Tell Me This Girls Full Name Or Where She Lives Or Anybody That Knows Her!?!? Message Me ASAP! Pleasee & Thank You So Much <3 <3

Omg I feel sorry fur u poor girl report him to police no matter what!!!! I got your back girlfriend

Omg that would've been terrible but I would've gone with ur mom cuz ur uncle was lieing!

You guys need to step out of your dissociative collecting of your past experiences. This is not how normal life is for anyone, your gut tells you differences from right and wrong, your family would be much stronger without such perversion. If you're still so obsessed with the psychological trauma it's caused fight violence with violence.

i wanna get raped so bad

Wow! I want to get raped I'm 12 btw :)

am 12 too am a boy

ive been through the same.. i have to see his face everyday the same haunting look with them piercing eyes i hear his voice every night when i close my eyes wishing someone would make it all go away

I too was raped for 10 years but by my stepfather...and I have the same effects you do. I never saw it effect me till I had my daughter a year ago, and now...I'm so paranoid someone will hurt her the way we have been hurt. You have truely helped me relize I'm not alone, and I'm not the only person who hasn't told anyone. I felt so insynced by your words becz it's EXACTLY how I felt. Thank you for your story.

You poor little girl! if he every does that again just tell yourself" I'm going to get through it" you are such a brave person

Girl if only you cut his **** off and attached it to his mouth. I wouldve done that if i was in your shoes. Darling, i feel so sorry for you.

Don't let even a hundredth of yourself believe it is your fault. That is all tour uncle wanted. For you to believe and not tell anybody. Talk to someone about thus

you should speak about this with some one. a lot of people in situations like this usually try speaking to a female cop or therapist. you are a very brave girl and I think you are brave enough to do that. he might be doing the same to other people. I don't know if he would, but it's possible. you could stop that.

My Uncle Has Been Doing The Same.. Only He Dpesnt Actually Do All Those Things To Me Like Today He Hugged Me And I Could Feel His Hands On My Butt. I Haven't Told A Soul And I Never Will.

Just to let you know people, this person has not been here for a year.

I haven't cried this hard in a while. :/ I think the best thing to do is tell the police. They will help you. Although he has convinced you not to, it is the best thing. In your case, I'd advise you to talk to a female cop because she will do her best to help you.
When it happened to me, by my uncle as well, I told my counselor. I was so young at the moment and I couldn't take seeing him or being around him anymore and I knew it was the best thing to do. I knew I couldn't tell my family because they wouldn't believe me. Until this day, I feel as if my mother picked her own dirty brother over me, but at least, I do not have to be anywhere near him anymore!

;(

If this story is true and you still haven't acted, Leeannza, the only thing you should be doing right now is CALLING THE POLICE. You are not to blame for any of this, but if you allow them to remain free, they will only continue to abuse (if not you, then other innocent children)... they need to pay for what they've done to you. I can't imagine being in your position, but you're strong, you will survive. The police should be able to help you find counseling with therapists who specialize in helping victims of traumatic abuse. It sounds like you are still very much in crises, even if the physical abuse has stopped, your abusers still haunt you... start getting closure by getting justice. Put them behind bars.

what are there names?!

Leeannza: I am so sorry for your loss of all innocence and personal security. I regret the apparent pain and suffering that you have had to endure. I understand that although my heart is truly aching for knowing what you went through, I cannot possibly understand how this must feel for you. I wish with all my might that I could have been there to save you somehow. I hate reading stories such as yours and not being able to have saved you from this horror. I have 3 daughters of whom I adore, but I cant help but think that while they smile and are protected from harm by me, other children (like you) are crying and in pain. I too was sexually abused, but in no way did I endure the horror that you did. This disgustingly is due to poor parenting and supervision and overall concern for children and their well-being. Opportunitstic fools such as the selfish filth that violated you are able to destroy a perfect light of happiness and innocence, thus producing a broken girl as yourself.However, though I realize you have been broken, I hope that you believe that God can heal you, thus making you whole enough to inspire others as you have me. You still have a dim light of which I can sense burns from bravery and strength; qualities that even those disgusting beings couldn't destroy. This light will manifest brightly as your wounds from within heal. You are such a special person. I pray that you are healed and made new. Somehow, I feel I cannot adequately suggest anything because of the effects of such horror; however, I do hope that you understand my empathy for you. Please refuse to allow these idiotic animals to have any more control over you; resist impending thoughts if you can. I pray for your ability to peacefully experience sleep (securely).Take care and may God bless you. Though we cannot see him, he is alive and very real. May those who do not believe (as I once was one of these) find his love and grace in the near future. Warmest and most sincere regards,LSparkman

I am sorry to here hat but i know what u been going though i to was raped

Your story was heartbreaking. I have been lucky enough to be blessed with a loving family, but every word you wrote made me feel your pain and the things you have been through. One of my close friends just killed herself and she was sexually abused by her boyfriend. I don't understand why people do those things. But stay strong and know that there are men out there who will treat you like a princess and would never even think of hurting you. You'll find him. Just stay strong and know things will get better. Thank you for this story.

They should be put in a mental institution those 2 men then prison

Im sorry but thats just a ******* sick story.... I feel so sorry and bad for what u went through. A catholic priest raping you?? & ur uncle was catholic and he did such thing. This is crazy!! Did u report them? How could u live with such a thing happening constantly? I know i wouldve committed suicide

You are a very brave lady. I was molested by my uncle from the age of 2 till 8. I was raped at 16 by a stranger and 2 years ago by my ex of 5 years and the father of my child. He physically and mental abused me as did my dad and reading your story really made me sad, sick and angry! U need to talk to someone in person. They can help. I'm glad u had the courage to share your story here as that in itself is a big step. Never forget how special u are Hun xx

I know it's hard but you really need at least one person you can trust- I'm so sorry that happened to you but I promise their are men out there that will stand by you- be there for you- make you feel safe and just hold you- you are not damaged- you are special- I have found that just talking about it with my husband helps bc it gives me my voice back- he took your voice- taking it back helps you regain some of your power- just know we are always here for you

Oh My God, I'm so upset reading ur life experience, infact I could feel n sense ur pain n d torture u went through. Why can't u run away frm there go to a far away place n stay. Or seek some good help, let every one know about this.
Don't just let them escape after spoiling ur childhood. all of us has the right n dignity to live a happy n abuse free life.
God bless u always............ U'll b there in my prayers frm now on. Take care

Oh you poor sweet heart! I had a similar experience and now I cant and wont let any man come close to me. May god bless your soul! I will pray for you. Stay strong!!! :'( 3

What your uncle did was manipulation. In thinking of not telling people from what happen to you.. Just cause your in a big family, doesn't mean anything.

I have read the others to. You really should tell your parents..
Don't think that your gonna ruin the family, his the one ruin the family...

If you need to contact me, I believe your able to from adding me to your circle.