Betrayed By The Person I Use To Love The Most.

I was around 8 or 9. My mother's brother was about 10 or 11 years older than me. My mother was in and out of the hospital with different illnesses. So, I would have to stay with my grandmother where my uncle also lived. I remember the first time was in an old abandon house near my grandmothers where all the kids would play.First, it was fondling....wish led to him making me perform oral sex, then led to pentration. Somewhere in my mind I blocked all of this out until I was 17 pregnant with my 1st child... I went to his home....He was married, and his wife happen to be in the bed asleep....He tried again while she was in the house. I guess I was in shock or I just don't know what came over me..I left never went back then around 20, I started have the dreams, about every thing that went on. I can even smell, the smell of him as he got off. I have confronted him, and his wife. She still stands by his side, but now I got word that he is dying of cancer. I am now 41 years old....I still have the dreams, I still have problems trusting men around me, my kids and my 2 year old granddaughter.:/

Deb6914 Deb6914
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 6, 2010

Are you thinking that maybe you need to go see him for closure? I'm not sure what I would do in this situation. I would probably want him to admit/acknowledge to me that I was telling the truth. On the other hand, if you visit him and he completely denies it again, would you be okay with that? <br />
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Either way, him dying, means safety for you and others. Sounds harsh but as survivors of abuse, I know you know what I mean.

I'm sorry. i think its really sad that the people you trust the most and the one's that are suppose to be keeping you safe are the one's harming you.... :'(, i feel so sorry that you had to go through that. I can relate.. i've been sexually abused for about 4-5years, i dont have children but i have nieces and nephews and i worry about them all the time, i always question them making sure no1 is touching them..