.:online Harassment:. Roleplay Gone Too Far

I was about 12 or so, almost 13 and I had just recently joined a new roleplay group on the facebook-page community.

It was around the time I was just getting into this show called Axis Powers: Hetalia and I wanted to make my own character and roleplay with it. She represented the state I live in; she started off around my age (about 14) and was a normal character. I didn’t really talk to many people because I’m really shy, but one day, a page (let’s call him Derek for privacy purposes) started to talk to me. He was just your run-of-the-mill page, nice, funny and a bit quirky. It was just harmless roleplay.

But one day, the admin of the page changed. He wasn’t the nice guy I knew him as. He became quite clingy and very.. erm.. “horny”. I didn’t really take notice of it for the first few weeks. Our characters started dating; we didn’t talk personally, just our characters. I changed my characters age from 14 to 17 and continued as if I changed nothing at all.

Over the months of roleplaying with him, it became increasingly worse. The admin was about 18-19 if I remember correctly. As I stated before, when we first started to talk, he was just a normal page. In about the 3-5th month of rping with him, he became obsessed with ****. I hated it, but I felt as though I didn’t have a choice. I tried to reassure that it wasn’t me, but my character but it still felt disgusting.

In the 7-9th month, all he wanted to do was **** and it didn’t matter who it was with. Weather it was my (real life) best friend’s page, or just some random roleplayer. He tried to get into as much detail as possible. It was revolting, and after a few months of playing along with his games, I took a break. Keep in mind that I was only 12, and what he was doing was 18+. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I felt personally assaulted. Even thinking about it now makes me sick, and it doesn’t help that I was sexually harassed by my neighbor as a child (but that’s a whole other story).

After a few months of leaving, I decided to come back and see how everyone was doing. Derek continued doing his ****, making it as all he would roleplay. The later the dates, the more detailed and graphic it became. I decided to completely shut down my page.

Its been almost a year now and I’m still not over it. Occasionally, I would go back to my page and read all my past roleplays. Even to this day, I don’t feel completely comfortable roleplaying. I’ve tried to get back into it, but more with animals rather than people but it still feels strange.

When I think about it, I kind of feel like that in a way, I already lost my virginity. I am completely disgusted with myself. Why didn’t I stop when I had the chance? I could have just deleted my page and left as soon as things went downhill, but for some reason, I didn’t. I can’t even think about anything remotely sexual without being completely disgusted. I know that could be a good thing, meaning I won’t be a teen-mother, but I still feel dirty. As though I will never be clean again…
CowardMontblanc CowardMontblanc
13-15, F
3 Responses Sep 8, 2012

I'm so sorry to hear that :C

I wasn't in a role play situation, but I was on Second Life, at 11 years old, because I heard you can have animal avatars, and I was just goofing around one day when another wolf avatar came up to me and we started talking. Not too long into our conversation, he started advancing on me, making odd proclamations. I left the game for the night after he forced me to lay with him (not do anything more though). For the next week, every time I logged on, he would message me to "hang out." Finally, after dealing with it for a while now, I woke up early one morning and logged on; he wasn't on, so seizing my opportunity, I unfriended and blocked him. Quite a few years ago, but it still feels like it was yesterday. I can thank the stars above it didn't escalate any higher than it did.

This reminds me of when I was little and Runescape was a new game. I used to play it and guys would always come over to my character and say really sexual things. Then they'd follow you around continuing that until you went offline for a bit. It was virtual, yes, but it still disturbed me. I was only 7 or so when that was happening so It was rather shocking to me at the time.

O.o Same thing happened to me in a similar way. I wasn't roleplaying, but I was playing this virtual life game, and I was reading a book in a library when all of a sudden, this bald naked guy came out of no where and raped my character! Also, once I was chatting with this guy, and he was so annoying because he'd plead and beg for me to give him a nude pic. I didn't, so he did instead. I instantly blocked him.