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Always Trust Your Instincts

My stepfather hasn't done or said anything out of the way to me since last year but I have all trust and respect for him since then. The previous stories that I have written on EP can tell you what I have went through, what I have lost and the constant struggle of keeping my emotions in check. Even though he has provided for me and my mother doesn't give him the excuse to treat me the way that he did. I have learned how to forgive people but I don't forgive people so easily. I never would have thought that I would have feelings so unsettling that it made me physically ill for so long. I lost the passion for my favorite thing and that's art. Every time I would try to build up the courage to tell my mom about the way that I felt, she didn't want to believe and for years I had this terrible thought (if my mother didn't have the time to even hear, why should I waste my breath and words with anyone else?) My stepfather makes me feel so digusting, even though I didn't do anything with him. If I could find the exact words that matched my feelings toward my stepfather, I would say those words. For now, I am always in my room because I would rather isolate myself in one place where he isn't there than look at him. I do hate the fact that I haven't done anything to build my spirit up since then and hiding in my room isn't helping the situation.
beautywithin20 beautywithin20 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 12, 2012

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Sometimes parents don't see what is staring them in the face. I am so sorry you don't have the support of your mom.
I hope you have started the process of emerging and rebuilding your life and regaining your passion for art.

That’s so hard that your mom doesn’t believe you. You shouldn’t have to live in isolation though--have you considered telling anyone else?