At Work

Yes, At first I was scared to tell anyone, but it was interfering with my life, I'm such a sucker that I would have tried to live with it, only it  was causing me anxiety and I would just not go out of my house for days at a time, they were gonna fire me, even though I was embarrassed, I had to speak up, filed a complaint and was transfered to a new location.  A few months later I got the decision: they didn't believe my claims, I felt so devastated. I didn't even tell them everything to keep some dignity for myself, It has been well over a year and it still causes me so much stress, it comes and goes when I feel depressed, I lay in bed at night and can't sleep, I've watched the sun come up so many times, just angry inside, and they had the audacity to send me to an eeo class with all the other clerical workers from my agency, I didn't wanna be there because it is all bullshit to me, unless you have a picture of yourself expressing displeasure, while your aggressor is over you in a compromising position while holding today's newspaper, your claims are going to be dismissed. I met other clerks at the class who also had their claims dismissed.  I guess the city of new york hates women workers, and it was a women who heard my claim, I poured my heart out to her, I can't believe that frigid *****, had no emotion while I cried, sometimes (like right now) when I'm feeling extra angry inside (god forgive me) I secretly wish her daughter or grandaughter would get violated like I did and she would start to doubt the decisions she has made that affect other womens lives. This is why I hate everyone sometimes, I'm just a bitter *****, I will never be happy, people suck. Don't trust anyone because people only have their own interests at heart.  

BKHoneyBunz BKHoneyBunz
26-30, F
4 Responses Aug 9, 2007

You have to be a combat veteran to PTSD you where wrong remember what goes around comes around

You don't have to be a combat veteran to get PTSD. They were wrong to do want was done to you old school saying. Want goes around comes around.

It must be horrifying to have your report dismissed, especially when it sounds like the supervisor did this to other employees too. I am so sorry that 1) you had to experience the harassment/abuse in the first place and 2) never get the justice and support you deserved. Like @ealerma I have been to therapy for the harassment I experienced. It definitely helped with the anxiety and hearing someone confirm, without a doubt, that you've experienced something you never should have and that the harasser was clearly in the wrong. Don’t let the supervisor or the f****** up system steal your life and happiness from you. You can recover from this and reclaim the good in your life.

my situation is very similar with your story above...

I feel for you. I was sexually harassed for over a year and a half, and finally had a nervous breakdown at work. One of my co-workers said, they could remember I would leave the office shaking, barely able to open the door to leave. I filed a work comp. claim and I was denied. They didn't believe me either. I am appealing the decision. I have nightmares, etc... I feel it is my fault. I wonder if I will ever be the same. It's been ten months and I can still feel him touching me, kissing me, and etc. .. I went through the motions for a long time because I needed my job, but the guilt I feel it insurmountable. I go to therapy and it helps, but I still feel vulnerable.