EmbarassedI'm 24, will be 25 soon, and I've never been in a relationship, and am a virgin. I hide this fact from people (so that I don't have to sit out of jokes/conversation about sex) and the longer it goes on the harder it is to break this cycle. From my teens I've felt embarassed about my lack of experience (looking back it doesn't seem that abnormal compared to now!) and I guess this has crippled me further in starting anything with anyone. There's inevitably going to be an awkward moment at which it becomes clear or I tell them, and it feels like it will change how they feel about me (they'd think less of me or at least make assumptions) and how I relate to them. And in general, it feels like I would have way less idea what to do than other people my age. Has anyone else had to deal with this situation? Do you have any advice?
I'm generally fairly awkward around people I don't know well, and am quite paranoid and avoid getting close to people unless they make it unmistakably clear that they like me. My default assumption is that I'm probably forcing my company on people who don't want it, and that anything I could contribute they could probably get somewhere else :o I am aware that this isn't entirely rational but can't shake it. But as I'm pretty unexceptional looking and maybe don't have the right body language it's not like people flock to me.. It feels like the only way I could meet someone would be to be very good friends with them first or to be in unavoidably close proximity with them for a longish period eg housemate, maybe colleague. But so far anything here has remained stuck as friendship! The very few times I have kissed people I don't know on nights out I have felt nothing.
Thanks for reading! It's good to find somewhere where I can talk about this stuff :)
luxl 22-25 3 Responses 1 Apr 23, 2012