Don't Know How I Will Live.

I have been diagnosed to have HIV 3 weeks ago. Initially i was in shock, denial , regret etc etc. Then i felt even i can live and have a life after reading all the stories here. But last few days my self confidence has really taken a beating and i feel very helpless. I am a professional with a good job and i have to lead a team. I was doing very well until i got the news of my test results. Some days i am doing well when i dont think about it but there are days when i feel i am worth nothing and very depressed. My juniors can recognise this in me and may feel i am not up for the job. I am very very scared about this and i might be laughed at or might even lose my job. I am very worried. I wonder if anyone can give me some advice.
gancso1 gancso1
5 Responses May 25, 2012

Hi how are you ?? How is life ??

If you are getting hopeless, think of those who dies sudden death like accident. You have many years to live. Take care of your health. and think positive. Search for community for for support. There are miilions outhere like you.
Ya its take some time. I pray God to give you strength for the situation you are facing.
God Bless you!

I found out I was hiv poss 5 years ago when I fell pregnant with little girl. I was 16. And I broke down. Then after reading and undertanding I realised this isn't a death sentence and I can live my life depressed or get on with it and try help others going through the same. Life has a funny away of testing us. And I look on the bright side because now I can help the next generations to have safe sex and be fully aware of what can happen, and what hiv is all about. I am now happily married with 2 beautiful children to my hiv neg husband. Contact me if u need a chat x

Well, I do not know how to put it. I also had a high demanding professional job before I was diagnosed about 7 years ago, which I had to give up after my diagnosis. The emotions I went through for the first few days, weeks, and months were very hard to describe. Of course you understand. I didn't want to live. The only thing that kept me goin was the fact that I thought it would be selfish of me to inflict so much pain on my mom and sisters if I didn't live. Eventually I came to accept my reality. That does not, howver, mean returning to normal. One day I am upbeat about life, the next day I am at the bottom. To this day I struggle with it. I have not been on meds yet, but I am about to start now. I am kind of scared. Probably it is different for everyone. I have been kind of isolated and kept to myself for the most part. That is the one thing I want to advice you. Do not isolate yourself. Keep your network of friends and family. After a while it gets to you. Now I am trying to figure out how to find local support groups. Probably me being a heterosexual guy made it harder. I think the gay community is more understanding. In any case, I hope you are doing well.

Hi Sam you r in a similar position to mine! Where do u live?

Your concerns are certainly reasonable. Like you, I've been recently diagnosed therefore I understand the wave of emotions you currently experience. You wake up each morning wondering why you or how could you be positive, atleast I did. You know what hon, HIV is far from the end of the world. There are so many persons who are suffering from even worse afflictions. Its ok to be scared. Heck, we can even wallow in self-pity for a while BUT too many persons depend on you for you to let HIV get the best of you. I came to realize that only I could tell the difference between who I am now and who I was before I knew. I get up each day and make the best of it. Knowing I'm positive has been a hard pill to swallow but its also helped me to put my life into perspective. Don't be too hard on yourself for having bad days, just don't allow those bad days to control your long healthy life ok. You have too many accomplishments awaiting for you to give up now. <br /><br />

Thank you very much for your response. I wake up very early in the morning with different dreams like having blood cancer etc. Then i try to calm myself and concentrate on what to do. Your words are very encouraging. Thankyou very much.

Does hiv take more than six months to show up ?

those were the old tests made in 2000 BC