My Story..being The Wife Of A Crack Addict
Where do I start?? This is my second marriage, my first was to an addict and i left when it became abusive (13 yrs married) and whe n I met my current husband i thought he understood the importance of being "clean". I know he had past addicitons but was assured they were done.He went through a cocaine addcition and i stood by him and supported himWe have a little boy together that has down syndrome. About 4 years ago I found out he was using crack. I stood by him through foreclosure, job losses and family banishment. We moved to florida hoping that would help but it got worse. Apperantly the quality of the drugs there are much higher and it led to daily use. He would take the car after he dropped me off at work, and then he would never pick me up. Why did I stay through all this?? Am I an abuse magnet?? He has lied to me, stolen all my jewelry and pawned it and even been arrested,. Finally he gave it up , well for awhile. I was so happy and I felt all my prayers have been answered. Finally the family I wanted. We moved bavk home when the economy dropped and he lost his job. Well bad move cuz it started all over again. ot to the same degree but still. I've tried everything like handling all the money but he finds a way to get it. I had a low self esteem to begin with and now I feel even worse than I did before. He "used" again last night, valentines day of all days. He lies and tells me he has to go get me a gift and then he stops answering his cell. He says he feel ashamed and thats why . He also stays away from the house cuz he again feels ashamed. How can I ever trust himagain?? How am I going to support my son alone? Is there a man out there that will love me and take care of me the way I deserve I am confused. Do I stay. leave??