The Pain Never Stops, I Wish I Could Forget But Can Not Let Go
I thought I was marring the perfect man. The perfect man has turned into the worst part of my life. I long to be free but know that can never be, not until I finally breathe my last breath. the lies, that is the worst. The constant cut-downs, picking a fight to justify his infidelity. Not that it matters anymore it doesn't. Life has a way of allowing us to go into a world no one else can enter, our own. I have become unable to work and can no longer feed his addiction. He has a way to find it thou. He lays in the bed for days at a time, says he can't function with out his drugs, so he don't. He. eats, sleeps and cries.then he gets his self stupid up and runs around like someone crazy. I just hope that I, in what I call my corner of the world ,smile and say what I am suppose to as to not sat him off. In has deference the beatings and the hurtful things have always been something I did are said "to set his blood boiling". the worst part he beats me with those big hands clasped into a fist in the top of my head, he is careful not to go to jail. My family stopped coming years ago, friends also. now that I have computer I can freely talk with friends and family again. I never say any thing and they don't ask. They gave up on me a long time ago because i am still with him. I tried many times to get away, even joined the carnival, he found me and destroyed that also. I am still alive breathing air in my lungs, but my life has been over for years. I try to live a Christian life and am in love with Jesus Christ, my only hope. Please don't end up like I have, don't wait until you have no choices in life other than death.