Still Here, Still The Same

I married an alcoholic/drug addict and the life is one of the hardest you will ever have. I thought I had found my knight in shinning Armour . lol Life is not a fairy tale that's for sure.
They will become obsessed with you, just as much as they are obsessed with the drug. Your life will no longer be yours, as their life is not their own. The control and abuse will be as the lines on a graph, up and down, even some level off time.
I am still married to mine, the in love long since been gone, first you resent them for bringing you down with them, then your embarrassed by their mere existence. Mine wakes up for a drink, with out his bump he don't get up for days and days.
He will say he can't live without you, and if he has abused you bad enough you will know if the threats are valid on your life and the ones you love. 
He will try to control your ever move, in the beginning you will let him because it hurts too much not too. He will do things, any thing to hurt you. He will cheat on you time and time again and make you believe its your fault.
Then one day you will wake up, and so many years will be wasted, wasted years never to be relived in a happier place.
You will long for,,,,,,,
But it won't be found, their sickness is now your own. Oh you may be clean as for as the drug but you will test dirty for something else, your own life.
You will find peace in church, their you can praise God and know a home a wonderful place awaits.
This day I will say without a moments hesitation.
Make your way out of the hell. Life is out there, find it, don't let the years go by and be afraid. just go...You can do it
mommaceitta mommaceitta
51-55, F
4 Responses May 13, 2012

You can too

I am financially responsible for our mortgage, all of the vehicles (insurance) are in my name and he has told me repeatedly he will burn the house before he lets me sell it. I can't make him leave because in this state there has to be an arrest or two before you can go into court and say he is an addict. I don't as so many others here still love him....he is not the man I fell in love with anymore. So far he has not been violent only threatened but I feel it is only a matter of time. I am not young I have grandchildren and starting over scares me to death at this point in my life. If I walk away he will only lose everything I have worked so hard for all of my life. I am so torn.

So sorry, but I lost everything any way, his drink and drugs will come first, just remember that...:(

Your story is mine! I don't think I'm strong enough to leave! I have two kids and I know for them I should....!

I am so sorry, if support you need you can find me right here, and i will listen and send you hugs. Keep your head up....

Thank you! It helps to know I don't travel this road alone!!

here anytime

Im going through the same. I'm glad I am not alone.

I am so sorry, I know the smiles are few and far and in between, but hoping this Mothers day is the best, mine is good because I have come to spend a few days with my kids. hehehe love to be with em, and have a break from that old dope head. huh lol have a good one, here if you need/want a friend