Just recently I had my husband removed from the house for a domestic disbute he now has a restraining order on him. We have known each other for 16 years and married for 11 of those years living seperated lives under the same roof for 3.5 years which now looking back is crazy I actually can't believe it's been that long!

Anyway all I wanted is for him to go into rehab or get some sort of help for his prescription pain pill addiction but never did and still has not! Even though other people try and tell me this is not my fault he has to want to change and it has nothing to do with me why he is an addict it still hurts and I feel like what's wrong with me why am I not good enough for him to want to try and sort this mess out! I feel like I'm in limbo land we can not communicate with one another he is living with his daughter and I am at my house, I am finding myself having to look on his face book (he does not have it private and im not friends with him on it) just to see what he is posting which sometimes I wish I did not as I know some of the things is referenced towards our situation! I want him to feel bad for what has taken place but at times I feel he probably does not care even though I have found little notes stating how much he loves me which is still hard to believe because I was not worth enough to make the changes... Maybe my thinking is all wrong on this subject? I don't know this is why I am on this site for better understanding and clarity on this messed up situation of mine......
4whatpurpose 4whatpurpose
46-50, F
Jul 6, 2012