The Story Of My Husband Addicted To Meth

I dont even know where to start. I feel fooled, and somewhat stupid for not seeing the truth sooner. I knew it was there but i feel for his lies again and again. We have been married since june of this year but have been together 4 years. We have a beautiful daughter together who is just nine months old. When I was pregnant i knew something was different with him. Things changed in so many different ways. His temper was so short, and i found myself up against the wall by just saying where were you. He was gone all the time, and left me stranded. So a month before my daughter was to be born, I moved home with my mother considering i have two boys. He lost 50 pounds in two months. I made him take me to the hospital when my daughter was born, and i had a csection. Instead of helping me he slepted the entire time, and i just layed there crying cause i knew what he has been doing. A month after my daughter was born he was arrested for sales of controled substance. I had to open the house for the cops to check my home he was living in. He had another women moved in, and i found needles, pipes, straws everything. I found love letters, and she had my clothes, and make up in her bags. My daughters clothes, and personal things. That still comes to me at night and i get sick from the thought of another women living my life. I forgave him he said she was renting the room, and stuff.. I was stupid enough to believe him. He ditched out on me yet again two months ago. He moved about 50 miles away from me without a word. I went out there one time, and found a bunch of weed hidden. He said of course it was his friends blah blah.. Last night I get a call at 130am from him but it went to voicemail since i dont do drugs, and i am not awake that late. He pocket dialed me, and well he was with another women. He was trying to get the needl in her arm, and asked him for the dope pipe.. He called the next morning with no clue of all the things i have heard.. He denied it and called me crazy. I have felt crazy for such a long time it was the truth i knew just wanting to come threw. but i am not the crazy one, I take care of my kids all by myself, and i dont drink. I dont do drugs, and I dont do anything bad. But why do i feel so bad for his choices. i wish i could turn back the clock and just walk away from him. I dont understand why this happens, and why it happened to me. I just want to get up and just run away. But I know that it wont change anything, and the hurt will still be here. He called me balling like he does every single time. How can you ever forgive a person who has done this crap to you. I love the old person he used to be, and I just dont know anymore if I even want that person back. I am only 27 years old, and I am not a ugly person. But he has called me fat cow, and a hog. He makes me feel horrible about who I am because i guess it keeps me thinking i cant get anyone else. How do you move on, and forget this person. How do you move on when you are trapped. I am just so lost right now, and I just dont know what do to anymore. It feels like everything has been a lie, and who knows when it first started. I gave him my heart, and I trusted him. I jsut wish I knew all the answers, and how to fix this broken feeling inside me. But I dont know anymore.
jszlove3 jszlove3
26-30
10 Responses Nov 28, 2012

I am going through the same thing with my husband. It started with crack years ago, I thought that was the worst it could ever get, he would be gone for days at a time, spend all of my money, lie, steal, anything he could to get it. Those days are over, but now it's meth. This drug has changed the person he is...I don't know this person anymore. I fear for my life some days. He hits me now, something he would never do before. He talks to me in the most horrible ways...things I could never imagine saying to a person. He takes every weakness I have and throws it in my face over and over, making me feel as bad as possible about myself. He tries to make me feel like I'm a drug addict because I take pain meds for my back, 4 bulging discs that cause me constant pain. I see a dr. every month and don't abuse my meds, but he tries to make me feel bad about that so he's not the only addict or something. He tells me I'm evil and have the Devil inside of me. He tries to make me feel like I'm crazy. He tells me how fat and ugly and gross I am, that I'm disgusting and dirty and nasty. It's horrible the things he says. I do not know this person. He is not the man I married, not the man I love. Meth has changed him into someone else and I don't know what to do about that. I want to leave. I've been with him for 23 years though, that's such a long time to throw away and start over. I love him, I don't want to give up on him....but I don't know how much more I can take.

I read all these comments like this is my life...im a good person I love God...im believe im a co dependent and thata its own disease..Believe me we are GOLD...we do deserve better...i know im worth more...but what is holding me back...i have a ton of support..I support myself and my 3 children. I deserve a happy life not one of fear and abuse and cheating..ive watched a beautiful mam turn into a DEVIL spewing demonic things out his mouth..accusation after accusation...choking me,bruising me and my soul..it has to stop

I know what your going through, but not too that extent. My husband is a meth addict and it is really hard because we have three daughters together. He will do good for a week and then he is back on it again. I have been through this same cycle over and over again. He doesn't run off instead he comes home and aggravates me all night and I don't get too sleep. I am so angry and bitter and I don't won't to be that way. It really puts a hindrance on my personal relationship with God because of the anger I have. I won't so bad to have a normal family life, but with meth it's not going to happen.

Hi, im jessica... we are kinda like in the same box. Yes i caufgt my husband so many time with other woman. i always fell to his lies that he will change.. etc.. but i decided to end our relationship because before i always fight for my right as a woman. But now its over. enough is enough. I tried everything. and yet he chose that path.

we have the same experience...

They never change, you need to focus on yourself and stop thinking about him or what if, that doesn't help, focus on you, YOU are a beautiful person and deserve the best, dont Settle for a loser, you can do 1000 x better then that, a real man don't do that and he doesn't love anything or anyone but his addiction, he is sick and a lifetime is not enough to fix his big bag of crap. This is more than the addiction it's a lot of issues that needs years of therapy, it's possible yeah but why you are going to stop living to fix someone else's problemes, fix your own life and move on, the way to the support you need is only one way GOD read the bible, go to church. Get closer to your fam and friends, enjoy yourself love yourself. Believe me after you start focusing in yourself you will see the light and start living the life that you are suppose to be living and ir feels amazingly great!! My own experience!! God bless you girl.

Thank you for this.

I've been in the same situation but I survived and if you hang in there, so will you. And you will be happy again, I promise you. I never thought I would, but I am. How you move on and forget them is you remember this - we don't miss who they were, we miss who we wish they had been. If you remember who he really is, you'll be able to see that he wasn't good for you. After the break up, we remember the best things and the good times, but remind yourself that you don't miss who he really was, you miss who you wish he had been, this ideal we carry around in our hearts and think we've found, when we haven't. Before you think I'm speaking from a safe distance of all my trouble, I am here today looking for support because my ex (we broke up 9 years ago) overdosed on Christmas eve and died. I think I always knew that day would come. But I've been a good mother to his children, and yours need you like mine needed me. Hang in there, take care of the kids. He'll do what he will do and you can't stop it, you can only distance yourself and protect yourself and the kids.

I have been married to my husband for 23 years and we have been together since July 7, 1987. I found out last year around Thanksgiving that he has cheated on me for years and that he was using meth. I love my husband with all of my heart and soul and this is killing me! I almost lost my faith in God because I would pray all the time and not get the answers that I thought I was supposed to get. I have left the house and went back a number of times this past year. Finally about 2 months ago, I moved out and rented a place. I still don't know how I am supposed to get thorugh this, but I have so many supportive friends and family. Even his family is supportive of me. I had to put a warrant out on him last month because for the first time since we had been together he pushed me so hard he bruised my chest. He got arrested this past weekend on the warrant and he called me cussing me like a dog. Then just yesterday he called me and said he was willing to do anything to fix this mess. He cried and said he missed me, our kids and our grandkids. I don't know whether to believe any of the lies. He called me and gave me and ultiamtum that I come home or lose him forever. Not in those words, but that is basically what he said. He has no right calling and giving me and ultimatum. I sent him a text this morning and told him until he decides to get help for his addiction, there is no way to make things work. There is a LOT more to this story, but all I want is for God to take over. I have no strength left in me and have no idea what to do about the way I feel. All I want is to feel a little happiness again before God takes me home. Just a little is all I need. I am so close to my breaking point, I feel it.

Hi I read your comment and I just went through and am going through the same thing. I walked out on my drug/**** addicted person last month. I'm having hard time to disconnect from him too. But Yes!! We are not wanting to return cuz what he is( addict ) but what we think he used to be, which my case he is far gone. Please trust me when friends and family "hold you back to everything where you have "no contact" with him. Is the best move for you!! and just keep walking forward.... Currently, I am making the mistake to keep contact him because I am worried about my dog that we have together, where at times, I want to let her( dog ) go then I feel bad for doing so!! Okay, Where he uses this as a hook". But it doesn't matter; you having your place keeps you safe, away and will bring you happiness! and slowly you will get used of being away and coping and healing. It goes on and something strong inside me tells me to stay away as much as possible. Listen to your inner voice and guts!! not your heart that is the key here. Your inner voice tells you the truth and what to do-

please listen to mommaceitta. she knows the truth.

my dear sweet girl, life is hard enough, help is out there just reach out and find it. They belittle us until we can't even walk with our heads up. I know because I have lived your life for many many years. the drug is more important than you will ever be. I have become a new person and found inner peace with God. I pray for his addiction, but it will never change. I don't cry anymore and i never ask where he goes because i don't care, i have very little to say to him, he is so violent and i was always in fear. God has put his protection around me and the physical abuse has stopped. I have tried to leave and been haunted down only to be too afraid for my family to stay away. So much of my life has been wasted. Of course i tell myself mine loves me, but he doesn't, he loves his drugs, and that's it. he cries big tears and that is suppose to make everything okay.lol yea right. Please don't waste your life on this guy because it is never gonna change, not as long as you let it. go be happy, he is!!!

Wow...I just needed to read this. It's like ur talking to me. Sometimes I just want to die to stop the pain. Im tired of his lies and stealing bec of drugs. He just doesn't stop