Completely Numb

My husband has been abusing perscription drugs. He claimed to have given them up, been to counseling to NA meetings. Something was still not quite right. I found that he didn't stop; he just changed doctors. He has been deceiving everyone. I feel absolutely nothing. Just looking for the right direction to go from here.
Gabrielle10 Gabrielle10
6 Responses Nov 29, 2012

Gabrielle, i have been throught the same painful story. I understand the 'darkly comical lies'...i had them spouted to me daily. My now ex-husband was taking so much loritab...lying, stealing (he even stole my brother's id and ordered online with that!). When i caught him, he claimed to be going to narcanon and was trying to quit. He lied about that too. I finally drew the line (there was much much more) and divorced him. I had hoped that would be bottom for him. It wasn't. He recently had his leg amputated because he wouldn't go to the dr to treat an infection. Still using drugs, in and out of rehab facilities, but never off the drugs. They have to make their choices. You have to take care of yourself. There is nothing you can do but to be supportive, but there's only so much support you c can give without losing yourself. Some get through it, but it has to be their own choice.

Happy New Year to you, too, and let us hope that it brings peace and serenity to all of us. Take care and stay safe.

Dear Gabrielle10:
My husband of 23 years has been doing the same thing....for how long, I'm not sure. He lies too much to be able to know. I'm wondering about the effect all the lies on the family members, you know? It can make you feel a lot of negative emotions to know you have been constantly lied to for years. I am getting therapy with a counselor, have joined Nar-anon (a 12-step group for people who love an addict) and I am focusing on MYSELF. It's the only way I can change anything--by changing me. I wish you the very best.

Dear WithThanks:
Thank you for your response, it is very comforting to me. I don't think I realize how much of myself I have neglected trying to control this. I know I can't do anything about his problem. I think the lies bother me more than the drug use. I'm bothered by both but he just keeps lying about everything; it's unbelievable and sometimes even comical (in a dark way). I just keep thinking "who are you?" and then ask myself "why am I still here?" I think if he were out of this haze he would be embarrassed of his behavior. I've recently started to see a therapist; it helps me to keep the focus on what I can change. Have a wonderful new year and keep taking care of you.

I feel the same way. I want to stay and help him, but I can't and I can't go on living like this either.

Dear ritycan, This is one of the most difficult things I have been through. I find that in "trying to do the right thing" I am probably doing all of the wrong things. You have to do what you feel is the right. I have found that you can't save anyone especially someone who is not willing to save themselves, all you can do is offer support; the rest is up to him. Take care of you, I promise it's not selfish.

Thank you I guess I just need permission for what I know I should do.

send him to the authorities