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Death of Three Lives

My Husband was on drugs 20 years.  Nothing serious at first than escalated to major pain killers, cocaine, crank, and then crack.  My son did not even know until he was 14.  We insisted He go to clinics and he did; about six or seven, always to go back to the street.  We were middle class and he started gambling which didn' take long to run through our savings.He would disappear for 2 or 3 weeks. And then 4 years ago, June 24, 2005, on my birthday, He decided He was quitting. I was so happy. Three days later, at 8AM, June 27, 2005 I got the call I had known was coming for 10 years. My Husband was dead. I called my son in Atlanta. He drove to Sevierville, TN. in two and half hours. When I got to him they tried all day to revive him.  My Son got to the hospital 5 min before they flew him to Knoxville, He died in Knoxville and even 4 years later My Son {28 years old now} and I cannot live a normal life.  We miss Him so much.  We did everything we could to help him get and stay clean but the drugs won.  My Son blames me and it hurts me so much because we were really close. The drugs killed us all and we, even 4 years later find it difficult to go on with our lives.

chrisoharris chrisoharris 56-60 3 Responses Jul 12, 2009

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Which i worse...him being dead...or living the life of a struggling addict? I lived with an addict for many years...that life is harsh...very harsh

Because of my own history I have become jaded and feel absolutely no sympathy for your husband. For yourself however, I am sad that you went through such horrible events. For your son however, I only feel pity. This is the same kind of pity you feel for some stranger that you see in a wheelchair. These events have stunted your sons emotional growth to the point that he has become crippled. One can only hope that he heals from this history and returns to caring for his mother.

i hate that my son is just 7. my husband and i are not together right now. he lives with his mom i get emails from him saying how sorry he is . i want to divorce him. but i always think it will make it worse like he will due more pills cant stand it sorry this happen to you .