What the ****!

I've just recently found out that my husband of 3 years has been stealing money from my credit card to pay for heroin. I can't tell either of our families or my friends for fear that they will judge him even more than they already do. We are not the type of ppl that would stereotypically fall into this pit. I have no idea what to do.

I can't believe this has happen. I feel completely betrayed. To money stolen and be lied to by someone who loves you and says that their life has been better with you. I can't look at him, I can't hold him, I can't day i love you without cringing. I thought that him being out of work for two years was bad enough. Having to say to him constantly that we need help, I need support, we can't afford to pay rent or bills let alone put food on the table. To find this out was the biggest punch to the guts. And as if the gods didn't have enough fun that day they decided to throw in a $50 parking fine as well.

When it rains it pours...but why did I get the tsunami? I can't breathe. I've been on anti-depressants for almost a year but have just run out of prescriptions...perfect tact! I want to disappear. I want to scream and punch the walls...in fact I did punch a wall the other day and my hand is hurting like shite. I'm completely dehydrated from crying buckets. My skin looks like shite, which doesn't help when you're a makeup artist whose face is on display.

It's nice to read tho that the feelings and emotions I'm expreiencing are, for want of a better word, 'normal'. I'm going to a support meeting for friends/family this week so we'll see where that takes me.

soldiering on...

oncemoreandimgone oncemoreandimgone
26-30, F
8 Responses Sep 28, 2009

I have just recently broken up with my ex for the same reason started with meth then heroin lies deceit two baby's one was just a new born at the time then I found out he was cheating on me with the excuse of well she supports me aka a drug user herself I was paying the bills buying his clothes putting food in his mouth and paying a sitter and for what? To haves man too high to watch his own kids??? Hunny I hate to be the one to say it but sometimes it's best to move on without him if he loves you he'll be back CLEAN

Kick his ***!!!

I understand where your out. It is so madding to see a good deceit person, do things so out of character. It is a lonely existence , you need to find someone to confide in. You also need to protect yourself. One thing I have found my husband always finds a way to feed his habit.
Your husband needs to look into methadone or suboxone . It's a start and may make him feel human again. Good luck .

I to can relate. My now fionce had a heroin addiction before we were together. I recently was addmitted to hospital for 2 weeks with pregnancy complications. I thought my partner was coping well without me at home to help him with our 3 other children but to my horror I came home to him using again. I confronted him about it and he said it was just a once off and will get clean. This was 5 months ago now, I have had my baby girl but he is still using. I feel so betrayed and just cant understand why he would be doing this now. He had been clean for 5 years before this. I feel like im losing myself in all of this. All the focus is on him. I was meant to be taking it easy as I had a c - section delivery but I have had to cope with everything. I want to leave but I dont want to cause the kids pain in case he gets straight again. I know im just dreaming but we were bestfriends before all this. Now I dont know if we can even have a future.

I feel like the only "normal" person going crazy. I know what you mean by the anger, lying. My significant other is paying me back the money he took from me but the thought of him closing the door to the bathroom even freaks me out. He hid his use, I didn't se it. How am I suppose to be his other half when I can't even be there for him. He just went through 7 days of detox and 9 days of work with no use but when you are engaged how are you suppose to go forward with all the anger and distrust. He is being so honest with me about the past 2 months but he relasped once and lied to me...what if we get married and he does it again, or we have children. How do you give the unconditional love and support when you are so worried about your own future, your anxiety, can't sleep, can't eat, and how do you know it won't happen again? How do you get the anger out that brings about a personality that you never knew before?

I am so sorry for you. I have gone through a similar situation and I know the pain. I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone. Try to find an alanon group. It is hard to go the first time but you will see that there are so many people that know exactly what you are going through.

Hi,<br />
I just read your story and my heart is heavy for you. My boyfriend of 4 years, was an addict in his 20's. We're both in our mid 40's. I found out about a month ago that I have Cancer. It's put him over the edge. He's using again. To top it off, I cannot even begin to help him. I have to focus on my cancer and he would rather use than stand by me. I had to ask him to move out. I'm going through the toughest road od my life and I lost my best friend to a drug and needle. I don't use and refuse to be with a drug user. I will always love who he used to be. I don't know him anymore. <br />
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Please know that I am here to listen and provide support should you feel the need.<br />
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Take care of you & God bless you<br />
<br />

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles.<br />
I hope that this situation has awakened you husbands better side and he has decided to come to his sense's.<br />
<br />
I could say a thousand words, yet I know that none of them will help as much as just being someone that can listen or talk if you need.<br />
<br />
Many good people do bad things because of pain, grief and suffering. While it is no excuse for what he has done, I hope that his love is still intact.<br />
<br />
Without love we have nothing.<br />
<br />
Try and get him to snap out of it and back to what brought you two together in the first place. Although I don't know either of you and most likely I'm only throwing cups of water on a burning building.<br />
<br />
I have had my love betrayed in a horrible manner as well and feel for you!<br />
<br />
May peace carry you always!