Ending It

From what i have gone though this week i feel like ending it all and everyday just seems to get worse. and now my husband won't agree to the divorce and i feel like there is no way out of the SITUATION i feel trapped. i have thought about leaving and staying with friends as i can no longer trust my OWN FAMILY, but i know he will come and find me. I just want out of the mess but i can't move on from this until i get divorce and he (husband is making my life a hell. The constant phone calls/messages plus theres my sister whos doing the same. I have thought about ending my life, i know it seems dramatic. But towards the end of our marriage and to me finding out about the affair he taking things out on me and saying it was always my fault and what hurts the most is that he would rather treat his bit on the side with love and care then his WIFE who he treated like a rag doll.So if anyone has go though this i would be grateful for advice and support. THANK YOU
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3 Responses Dec 8, 2012

Not to put to fine a point on it, and I'm sure your ex (or current) would never admit it, but if you end your life, you give in to him, maybe indirectly give him what he wants. His affair MAY mean that he wants to start over again (which is what you want to do it sounds like.) If he is seriously harassing you, or you feel physically threatened, then I agree with breastlover, see a lawyer, legal aid, a women's advocate, or if you have $$, a good attorney. They can take some actions to help you make sure you're safe.

If you're not 'unsafe', then take the next steps to your freedom (if you're sure that's what you want.) Take an hour, or day, or week, or month, to make an exit plan.. to a friends, or safehouse, or if you have a bit of $$, there will be jobs you can find online, and take a leap... kids? something more to consider... if no kids, then thankfully you can take a leap before things get really crazy.

I know life is complicated, but you're worth preserving (you know that or you wouldn't be solution-finding) and so it's worth it to figure what comes next, then DO iT. For motivation... consider what it would be like living there 5 years from now, 10 years, 20 years... you get the idea.

Chat if you like, though I'm goin on vacation, but will be checking EP mail for the next couple days. Holiday times doesn't make it easier (you probably gather I have some experience with this!... )

All the best and take care!


You definitely need to seek out a women's shelter in your area. They'll help you all the way through. Good luck.

the only way to stop the harrassing phone calls is to go see a lawyer and to have him sent a letting telling them if you want to contact her youre going to have to contact us and we can relay the message.. that will get him to stop the phone calls..