Ive Been There Too

Ive been to h ell and back

and with gods help i keep on getting back up

for another round , some days i think about what ive been

threw in my life and i wonder how i keep getting back

up it never defeats me only knocks me down for a

short while and god pulls me back up for round10 .

 but even after all ive gone threw in my life surviving 20 years

of abuse iam writting a book on it the chain the cycle of abuse

thats passed on from mother to daughter from

father to son and on and on iam learning to heal and help

those going threw what ive been threw helping them

learn what god has tough me i feel when u learn and

know better you do better but the first step is

learning why u pick abusvie men or women . its what u

have been tought by ur parents ,girls ask me why do

i pick a bad boy someone that will hit me? i say its what ur mothers

tought u by her example by living with ur father if

he hits her u will have a 50% chace of marring abuser.

in my book i tell the h ell i went thew u can heal and

u can live a happy life iam a example ive been married alsmot 4

years and ive broken the cycle and theres hope . life is

a lession we dont get to redo our lives its here and now so every thing

u learn show and teach others even if its teaching ur daughters

iam teaching my daugher all the things ive learned.

lunnas lunnas
41-45, F
5 Responses Sep 7, 2009

hi kitty ,<br />
its so sad they still stay i know it well , i stayed for so many reasions fear ,i had no family i was in a diffrent state no working skills, i depended too much oh him i was co depended on him<br />
i had to hit rock botthem then i decited i wanted change in my life and my daughters like<br />
i didnt get into drugs but at one time i was drinking very heavly at first i was starving myself<br />
then i started drinking to be alble to stand his rages and the fights, all the beer did was make me have a back bone at the wrong time it got me hit too many times. i didnt stay becalse i liked being hit or becalse i felted i desirved it . the men that ive have runn accorsed that beat or abused wome n would always say she must love to be hit thats why she stays and some women love to be hit .<br />
if that comes out of the mouth of your boyfirend or girl friend runn as fast as you can becalse they are a abuser its a red flag. but iam sorry that your family member wont leave and get help.<br />
its very commin for the one thats being beaten to do drugs or the abuser too does drugs. but the best you can do is wantch out for the children and try to get her into a shleter or councling, but most of all be there for her no matter what , it may p iss you off that she wont leave but when <br />
you have walked in theshoes of being battered and abused you dont under stand why they stay <br />
its a pattren of abuse its a chain its a cycle passed down to mother daughter to father son the abuse will contue till we start opening up the can of warms of talking and teaching girls and boys what is abuse they need this program in schools they need to be tought what date r ape is about it can happen. and most of all to teach the children that abuse its not normal ! so we should put a stop to some of this abuse bring it to the schools ,and change the laws we have a powerful <br />
vocie to change the thngs going on in the world so we should speak up about this matter . ive hurt too many older women say things like some things we cant talk about it the tabu subject of abuse .

sometimes i dont think the getting up is worth it sometimes and i stay down and wallow in my misery but then i realize that life is still there to live so i get back up brush myself off and start again for some reason

you can forgive yourself artemis<br />
and you can heal iam a good example i felted like i was in h ell for 20 years and god helped me leave and now iam very happyly married almost 4 years i lefted my abuser almost 9 years ago, u will will be able to forgive your self huggsss can i friend list u

Sometimes I feel like I'm condemned forever to Hell, not that I doubt God's power, but I feel like I've sinned the most. I feel like crying every moment of the day. I can never forgive myself.

I have seen the chain at work. My older sister is married to a guy that screws around on her every chance he gets. He can be abusive if his back is to the wall. She stays even though she knows what he is doing, I think she is obsessed with him because that is not love. Her two daughters are both in relationships where thier boyfriends have screwd around and one even caught hers in the process of doing it. She stayed anyways. I see in them what I see in my sister. I try and tell them that they deserve better but they just can't see it. My sister is now still with her husband, she's mabe 80pds. soaking wet and she takes oxycotin everyday. I always thought the #1 rule of love is not hurting the ob<x>ject of your love. Well he's killing her. I hope the chain can be broken for her girls because after all they are very young. I know my sister is waiting untill she catches him in the middle of something, but even then I have told her I will hire a private investigater and she won't let me. Mabe she is scared of the truth. <br />
I am happy to read that you broke the chain as you put it. It reasures me that it can be done.<br />
Blessed Be.