From Childhood and On

When i was born  i only weighed 2lbs 3oz... The dr's  said i probably wouldnt live ... then they said i would have disabilities and wouldnt be able to walk or if i did it would be very late  ... I finally came out of the hospital 72 days later ... When i was about six i was pulled out of class  and told by the principal that my dad had molested my sister asking me if my dad had ever done anything to me .. My mother had no clue any of it happened til i came home from school . also at the age of six i had my first seizure . I had to undergo so many tests .. they couldnt find reasoning for it ..It was just something that happens to me ..My sister got taken away from us and dad went somewhere .. im not sure if he was in jail or not ... nor do i even want to know now .. when i was in third grade my sister came back for a short while . My brother got in a horrible car wreck and was in a coma for four days ...  he lost half of his memory ... barely remembers anything about our childhood , even to this day .. when sis came back ... she was there for awhile then she got pregnant and left again ... this time i didnt see her again til i was 12 and it was because i had wanted to see my nephew ... as a teenager i was an emotional wreck ... i cut , I did drugs , I wrote poetry , i drank .. anything to try and relieve the pain ...  nothing happened .. I found a false sense of confidence in myself by sleeping with these older guys  ... so you pick the lesser of the two evils there ... As i was in my late teens to early twenties i had a bf that controlled me ... i wasnt allowed to go out with this person or that person ...  when that ended finally .. I was  stronger ... Then I once again started using drugs , drinking , and sleeping around ... Then i got pregnant with my son ..I quit everything ...  After i had my son i was doing pretty well .... Then i met my soon to be husband ... and my world crumbled from then on ... He was mentally abusive .. i was malnourished during the pregnancy with our daughter , I walked three miles to work during my pregnancy rain sun snow it didnt matter . Then after i had my daughter as soon as i could go back to work i did ... my friend was watching Grace for me and i paid her like 40 / a week .. then when i got more hours i sent her to a new sitter which cost me 25 a day ...  then when i got more hours ... I sent her to another sitter for 100 a week ... I was paying for her childcare .... i made 6.50 an hour ... my parents pretty much supported the children and i.... It was hard .. then i wound up in the hospital in jan . 2005  my son went to live with his dad . i stayed in Kenwood for 8 months after my first hospitalization then went back in the hospital in august ... after that i left him ... and ive been gone almost two yrs now ...I was damaged  badly ...  but Ive come up ... alot when i moved here i was scared to eat . ... i didnt want to gain weight , and i was co dependent as could be .  but  ive overcome most of It .. it will take awhile to completely come back to me .. But  i know what im aiming for this time ... and Kellie is almost fully here and as far the whole thing with my dad .. as the yrs have went by ... i know my sister lied .. shes told me things ... that dont consist with what supposedly happened ...  that no longer affects me as much
starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme
26-30, F
2 Responses Jun 21, 2007

When i read this what i've been through seems like nothing

Wow, lady you are a survivor, overcomer!! It's good to know I'm not the only one who has been through hell most of their life!!! Their are MANY challenges in life and it will alwys be this way, what doesn't kill us will mke us strong! I belive it!! I try SO hard to have the mind set... When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today may be your last one, are we going to die thinking damn I wish my life was better; it may never be better than what it is right, we HAVE to make the best of what we have! Belive me, when you can look backon your life after 50 yrs you think ALOT different, I try and tell my kids this, but they are hardheaded like their mom:)