I Have Been Through More Then Anyone Knows
I sat on my bed, still as a stone. Lifeless. Motionless. Staring off into space. My mom, rushed me inside and up to my room. My dad followed us after. She called him on the way home, and told him everything. They were both rummaging through all of my things, and but them in a bag for me. Have you seen a movie, where there's this person, and it focuses on them, and all around that person, is fuzziness, and a blur, because the people are moving so fast. That's what is was like, sitting there on my bed. I could hear my mom and dad yelling and crying, clearly showing emotion, and shock, and fear. They weren't even diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes. I was. Yet I just sat there. No emotion, no response. Nothing. I felt nothing. Finally, my mom snapped me back to her attention. "You ready to go, baby? Daddy is going to pick up cassie from basketball practice, and then come and meet us at the hospital, alright?" I just nodded. I didn't even realize I was crushing my blue and silver cross necklace in my hand, that I got from my mom, until she was helping me up. "Here," I said, "take this, and hold to it for me. Please don't cry mommy. Everything will be okay." She didn't say anything. She just took my cross, and my hand, and left my room with tears running down her face, and terror in her eyes. We left immediately to the hospital. It felt like the longest car ride in my entire life.
Once we made it to the hospital, and got our tickets, and everything set, they wheeled me in, and straight into a ICU room. There were so many doctors and nurses around me. I felt like a small animal trapped in a cage. So small, and scared. Their hands were everywhere. Tubes, and IV's were everywhere. Monitors kept going off. The breathing tube in my nose was itchy. My mom stood off to the side, as the doctors and nurses did their job. Fix me. Get me better. Keep me from dying. There was so much happening at one time, that I couldn't speak. I felt helpless. Like a victim. I felt out of control. That I had no control of my life, or a say for that matter. I was scared. So scared. I just wanted my dad. I wanted to go home. I wanted anything to not have to be here. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to not feel so vulnerable and exposed. I wanted someone to explain to me, what the hell happened. A few months ago, I was having the time of my life in Florida. Then I got bronchitis. Then I got sicker. Now I'm here. Telling me I have Juvenile Diabetes. Type 1 Diabetes. No one in my family has Type 1 diabetes. My Dedo has type 2, and he was diagnosed after he had a heart attack at age 40. So what the hell happened from then to now? Why me? What did I do wrong? I didn't have any of the answers to my questions. Nobody did. From this moment on, I knew I was on my own. I knew that right now, is the unexpected that they always tell us about. That this is my unexpected. I know that the little girl I was just a few weeks ago, is no more. She's gone. Like a leaf, floating along in the distance. She's not coming back. From this moment on, my whole life will change. I can already feel myself losing that little girl. She's slipping from my finger tips. She's drowning into the darkness. She left me here alone. To fend off this new life, all by myself.
Once we made it to the hospital, and got our tickets, and everything set, they wheeled me in, and straight into a ICU room. There were so many doctors and nurses around me. I felt like a small animal trapped in a cage. So small, and scared. Their hands were everywhere. Tubes, and IV's were everywhere. Monitors kept going off. The breathing tube in my nose was itchy. My mom stood off to the side, as the doctors and nurses did their job. Fix me. Get me better. Keep me from dying. There was so much happening at one time, that I couldn't speak. I felt helpless. Like a victim. I felt out of control. That I had no control of my life, or a say for that matter. I was scared. So scared. I just wanted my dad. I wanted to go home. I wanted anything to not have to be here. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to not feel so vulnerable and exposed. I wanted someone to explain to me, what the hell happened. A few months ago, I was having the time of my life in Florida. Then I got bronchitis. Then I got sicker. Now I'm here. Telling me I have Juvenile Diabetes. Type 1 Diabetes. No one in my family has Type 1 diabetes. My Dedo has type 2, and he was diagnosed after he had a heart attack at age 40. So what the hell happened from then to now? Why me? What did I do wrong? I didn't have any of the answers to my questions. Nobody did. From this moment on, I knew I was on my own. I knew that right now, is the unexpected that they always tell us about. That this is my unexpected. I know that the little girl I was just a few weeks ago, is no more. She's gone. Like a leaf, floating along in the distance. She's not coming back. From this moment on, my whole life will change. I can already feel myself losing that little girl. She's slipping from my finger tips. She's drowning into the darkness. She left me here alone. To fend off this new life, all by myself.
By:
tayybayy
Age:
18-21
,
Female
