My Second Time Around

As promised, the more has came. Anyone who would like to know the beginning can read my other entries "I been to a mental hospital: My first Time", and "Im a Survivor of Domestic Violence: There is more to come...this is just the beginning"

After I returned from my deployment, I felt that I had no place to go. My husband didnt know our team was back, (a good thing). I basically used the deployment to get away from him. I got off the plane and my commander was concerned about me not being excited to be hom, so he asked what was going on. I explained to him that I had nowhere to go because I was afraid to go home. So he said that I could stay in the Protective Dorms on Base and things would get sorted out first thing Monday morning. I got on the bus which took us to the squadron. Then my supervisor drove me to the dorms. I was staying on the third floor. Mind you I had a huge bag that weighed about 100 pounds full of all of my desert gear and extra uniforms. On top of that I had an A bag that had even more gear, and no elevator of escalator. Without helping me to my room, my supervisor pulls away to get home to the wife that cheated on him the whole deployment.

When I finally got up to my room, I walked in to find that I had no sheets, no blanket, no shower curtain, no hot water, no extra clothes, and no shampoo or soap. I also had no car to go off base to get the things I needed. The Dorm Managment Office was closed so I couldnt get bedding. I was screwed for comfort. So I Picked up my phone and called for pizza. When the pizza got there it was cold, so I sent it back with the pizza guy who was super rude when I opened the door. I sat on the floor and thought about this situation. Then I called the First Sergeant, on his cell phone, and he ended up paying for me to stay in the chief suite at the Air Force in.

When the patrol that came to pick me up at the dorm dropped me off at the Inn, she parked really far away and didnt bother to help me with my bags. WTF?!? As I struggled to get my bags to my room, I saw this seemingly attractive muscular guy walking and talking on his cell phone. I looked at him and he looked at me. Then he got off of his phone just to help me with rest of my stuff. He ended up staying and we talked and had some sex. Afterwards I found out he was in my squadron. See when I was in the desert I didnt have sex with guys that I was stationed with, only the ones I knew I wouldnt see again for a while. He ended up being my best friend.

After all of this, I went back to work. I kept running into my husband, he was shocked when he saw I was back and didnt call him. He started stalking me. He would drive around the dorm parking lot and look for my car and he would wait there until I went to work, got off work and just sit there watching. I reported it to the first shirt and they questioned him. Of course he lied. When they didnt believe me I went crazy. On January 4, 2008, my husband came into my room drunk and beat me. He was mad because I didnt call him when I got home from the desert and more importantly he was mad because he was served with divorce papers and a restraining order, which was never enforced on base.

On January 6, 2008, I went to that guys dorm room to have a beer. I was feeling really down. As we sat there and talked I told him I wanted to die and that I felt like I should kill myself. He then suggested that we have 2 shots of captain morgan and then go out to the bowling alley to get plasterd. At the bowling alley I drank 7 beers. After the bowling alley we went to another persons room and drank grey goose and played poker. I had 4 beers then, and 9 shots of grey goose. I ended up getting pissed and punched someone that I didnt know in the face. Then the guy that was my husbands best friend took me to my room. I asked him to stay because I wasnt feeling good. I had the cold sweats and my stomach hurt really bad. He said no, but later came and checked on me. He saw that my room was empty, my keys were gone and so was my car. He called me on my cell phone. I was half way down I-40 by then. I answered it and he asked what the hell I was doing. I told him I didnt want to live anymore so I was going to crash my car into a bridge. I hung up on him and did just that. I wasnt wearing my seatbelt and was ejected when my car rolled into the median and crashed into the piller that holds up a bridge.

I dont know how long it took for the cops to arrive, but I remember him checking my pulse and saying she might not make it. I was in pain, but I was happy to hear that. They kept saying there is blood everywhere, we need an ambulance now. I woke up in the hospital, my husband standing over me in the ICU. He said dont worry about the DUI babe, I took care of it. I asked him why I wasnt dead. When they sent me home, I was devastated. I knew I was going to be in trouble with my job for drinkang and driving. My husband forced me to let him stay. I wasnt strong enough to say no...hell I was doped up on morphine. We got there at 7 in the morning, he started to kiss me all over, including places i didnt want him to. I blacked out and when I came to he had me bent over, he pressing my face into the pillow so I couldnt breathe and he was pounding me as hard as he could. He stopped without ***********. I had been raped again by my husband. Eventually I was put into the mental health unit where I was evaluated.

I was there for 3 weeks. It smelled wierd there and I felt that my vagina could never get clean. I didnt eat for six days and I couldnt sleep at night. On the third day they started giving a sleeping pill that made hallucinate and by the 9 day I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, anorexia, and a sleep disorder. They gave me Seraquil, zanex, zoloft, and ambian. I felt really high all the time. My first sergeant came to see me and so did my new supervisor. They both said they didnt know how bad it was for me and that they wish they wouldve known all that was going on. WTF!?! The shirt knew exactly what was going on, but he shoved it under the carpet and let it keep happening to the point where I couldnt take it anymore.

The hospital wouldnt let me out until I ate something, I refused so they gave me a feeding tube. My room mate was awesome. She snuck pot into the hospital and we ended up getting high every night in the bathroom. The stench of the hospital covered up the stench of the smoke, so it wasnt a problem and we never got caught. Two weeks after being there, two more people from my squadron came there, but they were patients. One was on the deployement with me and the other was there because the squadron also shoved her problems under the carpet and she also tried to kill herself. While we were all there, we all became very close to eachother and figured that there was a problem with our chain of command. So we came up with a plan to pretend that we were all better and get released so we could go to the IG. I did it.

When I was released for the hospital the first sergeant asked if I wanted to go somewhere before going to the dorms. I told him I wanted to go to IG. You should have seen the look on his face. He was scared. He wouldnt take me and then the next day they took my driving priveliges. I was restricted from driving on base pending the investigation. (To be continued in Im a survivor of domestic abuse)

Chelle2323 Chelle2323
Jul 14, 2010