Mental Illness Makes People Laugh

Let me say that when it happens, ain't nothing funny about it. I was 26 when first admitted to the Psych Ward of Metropolitan Hospital. I was in and out of psych wards of more hospitals than I can name.


Finally, a psychiatrist said, I have a chemical imbalance. They gave me Lithium. It turned my life around.


I was able to hold a job as an editorial assistant. I had earned my B.A. in journalism and mass communications. I was writing on the side. But dumb me felt like I was alright so why am I taking this medicine? I stopped taking my Lithium. Back in the psych ward.


To make a long story short, my last hospitalization was February 2004 for ten days. I was fired from my job as Senior Writer for a national Christian Woman's magazine.


Now I'm on Social Security disability. Thank God for that. I took a stand up comedy course this past summer. My graduation performance was at Caroline's on Broadway, September 10. Since then, I've performed at Stand Up New York and again at Caroline's. I haven't earned any money at this yet, but I love stand up comedy.


Most of my material comes from my experience with bi-polar disorder, the polite term for manic-depressive. I finally feel free. I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I'm free from always trying to hide my mental illness. If I can make other people laugh about my mental illness, than I feel like I'm fighting the stigma.


What's your story?


 

Ardeena1 Ardeena1
56-60, F
19 Responses Dec 1, 2006

I use laughter a lot to to hide the pain. I also do not take the meds I should Lithium has been told to me by a psychiatrist as being poison which is how i felt when I took it plus I live in Tucson Az where it is hot and the added salt makes my body retain tons of water so I gain weight to least some people have ssi or ssd Im still battling them FML

What's hardest about being in the psych unit is usually you will end up losing a job or wont be able to pay your bills. I went through 5 years of total hell and told myself if i ever get in that shape again, I WILL GO ON DISABILITY. It's hardest trying to be responsible when you think of ways of trying to kill yourself. It's the hardest thing.

I heard crazy chicks are really good in the sack...

i've taken almost every combination of meds you can think of and i'm still not stable. It looks like i'm finally getting somewhere and then i just go manic or depressed just like that. I have been in hospital 8 times in the last 18 months. Each time was voluntarily as i was told they'd put me in the locked ward otherwise. Emergency department treat you awfully when you go there and then they ship you off to the psych ward where the nurses sit behind glass goldfish bowls and leave us to go even more insane than we were to begin with

What is lithium? Ive tried alot of anti-sycotic meds but never lithium. I have paranoa, schyscophernia.<br />
The meds that did work, is the abilify. And this med doesnt make you gain weight, or make you eat alot.

Mental illness is just a defect. It is the same as being born without an arm or crippled. I have never understood why people make fun of or ridicule the mentally ill. <br />
I have a friend with a very serious bi polar disorder as well as anxiety disorder and antisocial disorder. A woman told her that bi polar people are from hell.

Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that you took the time to tell your story. It makes me feel not so alone.<br />
<br />
Peace!

i been il since 4 and am nw 23 i am on meds they dnt work and i have give up on the mental health support in telford so yea i understand were u *** from but death seems my only way owt rite now and 4 a long time

I was a mental health case manager and it is very important that you stay on your meds even if you feel well. It is the nature of mental illness for your brain to trick you into thinking that you no longer need to take your meds because you are feeling great. But just like a diabetic who stops taking their insulin because they feel better, they will regress into a dangerous situation. Also, I've been told by doctors that when a patient stops taking their psychiatric meds and they regress, they often need twice the amount of the same drug to get stable again!

It may sound sad but it is nice to be able to relate to others. I still on my bad days think about stepping in ft of a passing car or that the train would come right then and it makes me kringe as I think of being hit, sadly my worry is that I would not die. I am on a mild antidepressent and it stopped the crying but I am trying to change me. I had a really bad step brother that caused me to try and hang myself in the fourth grade, still hard for me to comprehend that. Thank god I cant do it to myself anymore.

i've also been in a psych hospital 3 times it is not pleasent! i'm bipolar and suffer from severe panic attacks the meds work great but i have to take them the rest of my life sometimes you think you are feeling better so i stop the meds and thats when the hell starts. by being put back in the hospital. i think they treat us like babies because they think it's funny for them well f them.

I tried to go off of antidepressants one time and i've also tried to decrease my dose once with no luck. I was a mess after either decreasing the meds or going off the meds. I felt so depressed and cried all the time. I believe that I was depressed as a child too. <br />
<br />
W2G that you can bring the humor to the people!

I know how you feel. I was diagnosed with depression when i was 7, then bipolar when i was 10 and its been switching between them both ever since. Im now 14, back in mental health, and taking about 5 different meds a day. I hate doctors :(

Hi lovely I also was diagnosed at 7 years old and like you have continued to battle it my whole life. I'm 29 now and have 2 beautiful children 8 and 6 they keep me going - not that I'm encouraging you to have children until your much older and married!!! xx

Hi , i can relate to your story ,i'm a hard worker myself, i worked full time and doing well for myself , ended up in a mental hospital . Didnt like it myself , i wondered what was wrong with me , why was i in there? Still i dont know why. I take no meds, I refuse, it didn't seem to be helping me. I took them when i was in ther but when i left i didn't take them. Just living my life and looking foward to training next month for drillers helper. It's hard to forget about things like that , stuff you go though, and how you overcome them. I think its great that you you can laugh about it and enjoy yourself. Seeing other people laugh and a smile on there face, is priceless.It helps, sometimes I feel like I don't know how to take a joke anymore and have fun and just laugh about anything. i just can't trust the doctors I'm not going to take any meds.

thank goodness for lithium. meds aren't bad if they work.

i still veiw death as my only way out of hell although if u met me you would never know i think about killing my self evry second i even dream about it (chuckes) you see a street sign i see a sharp edges that could cut your throat open. its been like this since i was young its really anoying seeing all the opertunities but not being able to to do any thing :( any way hope you live a happy life

i think its really great you can use humour to help remove the stigma of mental illness my mums bi pola an i get depression an bpd think of some good gags for bpd an let me know i need a good laugh

i totally understand i never told any one about my depression and my need for help and just reading peoples storys makes me feel so much better im really happy that evreything worked out and i wish you the best of luck xoxox

Just wondered how you're doing now did you get some help? God bless x x

I ASSOULTLY FEEL YR PAIN, I HAVE FOUGHT DEPPRESSIONN FOR ALL MY LIFE, MY MOTHER NEVER DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT WHAEN I WAS LIKE 7 OR8 AS I HID SO WELL. I WAS A TOUGH LITTLE KID, BUT LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE TAKING IT ON THE OUTSIDE WAS TEARING ME UP ON THE INSIDE & I NEVER FELT IT, EXCEPT FOR REALLY BAD HORRIBLE STOMACH AHES PROBABLY ULCERS BUT IF SHE TOOK ME TO DR THEY SAID NOTHING WAS WRONG SO IT JUST PROGRESSED INTO WHERE I WAS DRINGING B4 12 ALOT HARD LIQUAR THEY NEVER MISSED IT, AND BY THE TIME I WAS 13 HEAVT DUTY KICK *** DRUGS THAT WAS IN 73I STARTED & NEVER STOPPED DOING THEM MY WHOLE LIFE BUT I WENT TO 12 SCHOOLS AND THAT IS ENOUGH T MAKE ANY KID CRAZY4 GRADE 3 JR HIGH & 4 HIGH SHCOOL ONE I WENT 2 2 X'S GOOD SCHOOL IN ST.CLAAIR SHORES THAT WAS GOOD TO GET BACK TO AS WHEN I STOPPED THEIR MY MOM LEFT MY 2ND STEPDAD AND SHE MOVED US BACK DOWN INTO DETROIT WHERE IT WAS SCARY TO LIVE, THEN AT 15 I ENDED BACK IN DETROIT MI FOR HIGH SCHOOL AT DENBY HIGH MAN TEACHERS RAPED IN THE PARKING LOTS I SWWEAR TO GOD THAT ONE KID GOT THROWN OUT OF A 2ND STORY WINDOW, THE PATTY WAGEN WAS THERE EVERY F__KEN DAY FULLY LOADED BY THE TIME THEY GOT EVERONE INTO THE THING AND THE CHICKS THEY WERE LIKE I DONT KNOW MONSTERS MEAN AS A RABID DOG IF NOT WORSE SCARED MYE TO DEATH EVERY DAY I WAS THEIR. GOT KICKED OUT 4 TRUENCY 3 TIMES IN 3 MONTHS I HATED THAT PLACE SO I DID DRUGS TO MAKE UP FOR IT ALL MY SCHOOL YEARS AND THEN AFTER, NOW I ONLY TAKE MY MEDS FROM DR. I AM DISABLED OVER BEING BEAT TO MUCH WHEN MY 2ND HUSBAND MARRAIED TO 5 YEARS BEAT THE **** OUT OF ME REGULARLY NO KIDDING SOMETIMES HE WOULD GO ALMOST AWOLE YEAR, YOU KNOW IT WAS BUILDING, HE TRASHED MY MOBILE HOME I BOUGHT WITH MY DIVORCE MONEY I HAD T OSELL IT FOR 3,500.00OVER HIS BULLSHIT GETTING US LITERALLY KICKED OUT OF THE PARK I EITHER HAD TO SELL THE THING WITH IN 4 MONTHS OR THEY WERE GOING TO COME IN & HAUL IT OUT ON THE MAIN ST. DIXIE HWY FOR GOOD CHARGE ME FOR THE TOW WHICH IS LIKE 5 TO 7 THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR THEM TO DO THAT,SO LUCKLY I SOLD IT FOR THAT AMOUNT B4 I HAD TO GIVE IT AWAY I ENDED GETTING NOT EVEN HALF FOR IT, AND MY HUSBAND DIDNT THINK 2 X'S OF ITHE WASNT LOOSING ALL THE MONRY I WAS THAT I GOTTHFU MY DIVORCE ENOUGH TO JUST GET OUT ON MY OWN I DIDNT ASK FOR MUCH I PROBLE WOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN IT ANY WAY HIS LAWYER WAS ONE HELL OF A SHARK GOOD LAWYER IF HE IS ON YR SIDE SORRY 4 THE PERSON ME ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE HE MADE ME LOOK LIKE A HORRIBLE MOTHER A WORST DRUG ATTACK AND POT SMOKING DRUNK ALCOHLIC THEIR EVER WAS MAN TALK ABOUT FEELING AS BIG AS AN ANT **** I DIDNT HAVE A CHANCE, AND THE THING IS MY X REALLY DIDNT EVEN WANT THIS KID FIRST IT WAS NOT IS, OOHHHHH THAT PISSED ME OFF I NEVER WENT OUT ON THAT MAN THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH I WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM. I FOUGHT SO HARD TO MAKE OUR MARRAIGE WORK BUT IT TAKES TWO. WE WENT TO MARRAIGE COUNSELING FOR ONE FULL YEAR SHE WAS GOOD TO AND MY X WENT TO HER HUSBAND IN SAME OFFICE AND ME TO HER ALONE ONE ON ONE 2 TIMES A MONTH. I DONT CARE WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT OR WAS SUGGESTED TO DO, HE NEVE GAVE AN INCH ABOUT ANYTHING THEY SUGGESTED SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVE FOUGHT DEPPRESSION MY WHOLE LIFE AS I WAS GROWING UP ALL IN MY TEENS I WENT THRYU MEDS AND STUFF AND I WAS 29 B4 I WENT INTO RE HAB FOR 31 DAYS I LEARNED MORE IN THERE IN 30 DAYS THAT U COULD LEARN IN A LIFETIME. I HAD TO GO OR I WAS GOING TO DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH A FIFTH OF VODKA EVERYDAY AND NIGHT WITH POP COACOA ICE TEA NEVER WENT TO LONG WIT OUT ONE AND I WORKED A FULL TIME JOB TOOK CARE OF MY NEWBORN COOKED HIM HIS 5 COURSE DINNERS FF/N HILLBIILY FROM KENTUCKY HIS FAMILY, SORRY I SHOULDNT SAY THAT BUT DARN COULD THAT MAN EAT HE WAS FED LIKE THAT SINCE HE WAS A BOY.<br />
NOW I AM MARRIED TO ONEOF THE BEST MEN I HAVE EVER MET INMY LIFE, WE MET AT THANKSGIVING ABOUT3 MONTHS AFTER MY HUSBAND WENT TO JAIL UNTIL HE WAS SENTENECED FOR THE LAST TIME HE BEAT ME, BUT THEY LET HIM GO. I AM TELLING U AFTER THAT TRIAL I NEVER BELIEVED IN THE ALW AGAIN. THEY LET HIS NEPHEW COME AND STEAL MY CAR AND NOT ONE POLICE STATION WOULD HELP ME GET IT BACK I HAD THE CERTIFICATE OF TITLE IN MY NAME AND WHEN THEY TOOK IT I HAD JUST GOT IT FROM MY PASSING MOM SO IT WAS SPECIAL TO ME WELL WE GOT THESE COPS DOWN WHERE HE LIVED ON IT , WELL HIS FATHER WAS THE CHEF OF POLICE FOR 25 YEARS IN THAT TOWN UNTIL HE KEELED OVER WITH A HEART ATTACK SO THAT ONE REASON WE WERE TREATED LIKE DOGS. WE WENT UP TO HIS DOOR AND SAID WE WANT MY CAR BACK WELL THEY WOULDNT ADMIT THEY HAD IT SO WE MET THIS KEEGO HARBER COPS WERE HIS DAD WAS A COP AND THE COP WENT OVER THEIR AND HE ADMITED THAT HE HAD THE CAR BUT IT WAS PRETTY WAYS DOWN THE STREET AND THAT HE WOULD BE AN HOUR GOING TO GET IT AT LEAST, SO WE WAITED IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE COP SHOP WELL FIRST WE GOT SOMETHING TO EAT AND THEN WE C LIGHT COMEING UP THE DRIVE WAY AND THE COP SAID HE IS NOT BRING IN THE CAR, I SAID WHAT, MAN THAT BULLS___ ARNT U GOING 2 DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, HE SAID NO HE SAID HE IS NOT GIVING IT BACK THAT YOU OWE HIS UNCLE MONEY SO I CALLE DTHE REAL COPS HAHA IN MY JURISDICTION AND THEY DSAID WELL HE HAS UNTILL TOMORROW MORNING TO HAVE THAT CAR IN YOUR DRIVE WAY WE NORMALLY GIVE A PERSON 5 DAYS TO GIVE IT BACK IF HE DONT HAVE IT THERE CALL US AND WE WILL GET HIM FOR GRAND THEFT AUTO, SO I GET HOME AFTER 5 HOURS OF CHACING ALL HTESE COPS AND HIM AROUND AND I CALL AND HIS DAD ANSWERED & I TOLD HIM JUST LIKE IT WAS HE BETTER HAVE THE CAR INMY DRIVE WAY B4 5 AM B4 I HAVE TO GO TO WORK OF THEY R COMING AFTER HIM 4 GRAND THEFT AUTO MOBILE AND ARRESTING HIM, SO HIS FATHER TOLD HIM T OBRIGN IT BACK TONIGHT THAT HE WOULD HELP U HAVE NO CHOICE AND HE TOLD HIM WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN & SURE ENOUGH THAT CAR WAS IN MY DRIVEWAY AT 4:30 AM. STUPID *******. SO I GO THRU PANIC ATTACKS TO I CANT GO THRU STUFF LIKE THATI PASS OUT I HAVE LITERALL PANIC ATTACKS THAT I THINK I AM GOING T DIE I CANT DRIVE OVEER IT I HAVE DR. NOTES 2 OFTHEM TWO DIFFERENT DR.SA STATING THAT I CAN NOT GET INTO A CAR WITH OUT HAVING APNICK ATTACKS AND THERE IS NO WAY WITH THE MEDS I TAKE AND THE PAIN I'M IN THAT I CAN DRIVE LET ALONE WORK. ITS A BUMMBER ITS BEEN SINCE 2002 I HAVNT WORKED AND I USE TO BE A GO GO GO GIRL YOU COULD BARELY STOP ME. WORKED FULL WORK HARD LABER HANGING DRYWALL FOR THE UNION21.95 AN HOUR EACH WEEK 40 HR WEEK I BROUGHT ON THE CLOCK 641.00 A WK. AND THE BEST PART WAS THAT MY HUSBAND AT THAT TIME DID TO SO WE BROUGHT ABOUT 1,2000.00 HOME FAITHFULLY FOR 8 YEARS MAN GOOD MONEY BUT WHEN HIM & ISPLIT WHEN HE WAS IN OAKLAND CO B4 TRIAL I ENDED UP GETTING BLACKED BALLED BY THE BASTARD HE TOLD HIS BEST FRIEND THAT I HAD HIV THAT GOT AROUND TO ABOUT 3 SIGHTS AND THEY LAYED ME OFF IN JUNE OF 2002 AND I NEVER GOT ANOTHER JOB FROM THAT UNION FOR RESIDENTIAL WORK, OH THAT WAS A FUN ONE I WENT TO VISIT MY NIECE OUT OF TOWN FOR 2INA HALF WEEKS AND THEY THOUGHT I WENT TO GET A BOOB JOB AND TO GET THIS BORROW MONEY FROM1ST HUBBY FOR ALOT OF COKE AND CHILLED GETTING HIGH THE WHOLE TIME I WAS GONE AND THE HIV WAS OUT ALREADY SO I GOT SCREWED AND IT DIDNT FEEL GOOD NEVER DID I GET ANOTHER JOB WORIKING FOR RESIDENTIAL 1234 UNION THEY LITERALLY BLACK BALLED ME, SO ALL OF THIS I'M STILL GOING THRU BIG TIME DEPRESSION IT IS HARD TO GET BACK ON TO THINGS TO WHE N YOU QUIT LIKE I HAD TO DO CUZ ALL THE SUDDEN I HAD TO PAY CASH FOR ALL MEDS IT CAME TO ABOUT 140.00 A MONTH. WITH JUST DEPPRESSION MEDS NOW I'M ON THAT AND APIN OILLS THOSE COST ME60.00 A MONTH WITH BLUE CROSS BLUE SHIELD. ALRIGHT GIRL SORRY I TALKED YR EAR OFF BUT I HAVE TO GO DEEP IN TOUCH AND STAY ON THOSE MEDS FOR OUR OWN GOOD OK, HOPE YOUR HOLIDAY IS GOOD, BYR 4 NOW WHIITETIIGER