Almost Due

The last time I was admitted to the hospital I was about 31 weeks pregnate with my twins. It was a great stay. usually when I am in the hospital I feel alone but not that time I had my babies with me. Even tho I didnt have my other kids with me I felt at peace. I felt like there was hope. At the time I wanted to throw myself in front of a bus. I thought I would die but if I was on life support the babies would live. I didnt want to hurt them. In real life all three of us would have most likely died.They were born about 2 weeks later and I went on some heavy meds.and then off again but Im still fighting to get normal or the so called normal.
halfgone halfgone
26-30, F
3 Responses Jun 29, 2007

You seem to be all there and here now,jbhmmm......One day will come after another and each with more knowledge about what was best..........

I have been in mental hospitals 3 times - once committed involuntarily. In my opinion they are the saddest, loneliest places on earth - much worse than prison. However, I benefitted greatly each time. I only wish the state of mental healthcare in this country wasn't so deplorable at the moment.

Good morning, we have alot in common . I had a severe break down dec. 27 05. I had been seeing a clinical psychologist for counciling about my childhood issues involving domestic violence and an alcoholic mother, and how it has effected my life as an adult, and my relationships, my codependent behaviors. I had a lot of crap going on and went to see the med nurse, i fell apart in her office. i did a volenteer 51-50, the policemen took me from the med nurses office to an ambulance, where i was taken to a holding psych ward while they found a place for me. I was very incoherent crying continually for several hours, and scared to death. They took me by ambulance again to a mental hosp. several miles from my family, i was diagnosed with clinical depression. I am in recovery and group therapy for adult children of alcoholics, and learning a lot. The journey is hard, but am realizing i am worth the trip. it sounds like you are dealing with some deep issues also. There is help out there for you, do it for your self, you will find you are not alone, i am here if you need to chat ((((((((((HUG,HUG,HUG))))))))))) Donna