That Place

I didn't try to kill myself, Let me say that straight out. I was severely stressed, wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping, and fell into an anxious depression. I stayed there for five days.

I was scared first of all. I was over an hour and a half away from home. Every thing was forgien. I arrived at about midnight and even the staff scared me alittle.

Now, my experiane there. Overall I hated it. I was the only girl in the adolesant ward who didn't drink, didn't do drugs, and was still a virgin. There was a thirteen year old who was pregnant!

Now, I guess I did grow up slightly sheltered. I went to an all-girls Catholic High School, was involved in my community, went to church every Sunday, and had a pretty good relationship with my parents.

I was admitted in mid-January of my Senior Year. The last day of the first semester. I remember because I was stressed about missing a major test. I had alot due that week five tests. A painting. Two major projects. Four quizes. All the teachers were trying to grades in before the quarter closed. Oh and did I mention I was filling out College Applications and Essays as well. I just crashed.

The first night I didn't sleep. I was in a tiny room with a white tile floor and powder blue walls. I didn't go under the thin sheet and blanket; I didn't trust them. Instead I curled under my pea coat and cried....all night. That morning I didn't leave my room until I was forced to. Did I mention I was in a separate section then all the other girls.

The girls themselves were pretty nice. They made me feel welcome, but I still felt like I didn't belong, as previously stated. I was the only one going somewhere, I had applyed to college and was sure I'd get in somewhere, save one girl. Lets call her Kate. Kate was two years younger than me and seemed to have a better grip on things.

When we were tutured I remember sitting in a separate room with her. While they did basic order of operations, I basically scoffed. This was sixth grade work; I was in twelveth and taking honors Caluculus. Well, when I told the 'tutor' (And I use this word LIBERALLY) that I was a little more advanced, she told me she couldn't help me; she didn't know how to solve limits and differentials. So kate and I sat in a different room, she was doing geometry and I translating Latin.

My parents were the best though. They came to see me everyday and stayed for hours. And I love them so much. I have no idea what I would do without them. When I hear that some of the other girls' parents didn't care, I was shoked.

I was so happy to get out. Ok so I lied slightly to the doctor, but I knew I didn't belong. I had my therepist put in a good word for me.

It was hard, but I am so much stronger because of it. And I don't look down on the girls in there. They taught me so much. In the hospital, there were no masks, no judgement. We could talk freely about our problems and were not judged. There was no place like it on earth. I may not have liked it, but it was necessary.

The best news came when my parents had picked me up Tuesday. They had gotten a call from my admissions officer at Bryn Mawr College, my first choice school. I was in!



To everyone whose been in a psychatric hospital, You guys are the strongest people in the world. No body else is stronger. We've gone through hell and have come out to tell the tall.

See The movie ORDINARY PEOPLE, It's amazing, about a boy coping after he levels a mental hospital. It is so emotional and like all of you will know, so true

TheJadeSabre TheJadeSabre
18-21, F
Aug 6, 2007