Isolation

     When people act crazy they go to the mental hospital.  When you act crazy in the mental hospital you go to isolation.  Now California state law says that isolation in a mental hospital cannot be used for punnishment.  I am here to tell you that is bull ****.  I have been punished that way many times.

     I remember the first time very well.  I was hospitalized for cutting.  I was bored and stir crazy from being lock in the ward for days so I took a staple out of a magazine and cut myself with it.  As the blood flowed from my leg I felt the instant relief.  I new no other way to get it.  Even for a short moment I was calmed.  I had only the physical pain to concentrate on.  This was better. I admit it.  I was addicted to cutting.  

     I thought I had cleaned up the blood well enough but it bled through my pants and the nurses saw it.  I was questioned and made to pull my pants down.  They saw the fresh cut and threw me in the isolation room.

     The isolation room is 9 by 5.

The walls are concrete.  The ceeling is 12 feet tall.  There is a steel door with one small window in it.  The door has no door knob on the inside and the bed is bolted to the floor.  In the ceeling are air conditioning vents, lights, a camera, and a speaker.

     I was agitated and the very small room was making me even more agitated.  There was barely enough room to pace around. 2 and 1/2 steps from wall to wall.  This got old very quickly.  I sat on the bed and tried to think of something else. This proved to be difficult.

     The nurse entered the room to administer first aid to my leg.  She saw the multiple scars and inquired about the emotional pain I must be in to do this to myself.  I was in no mood to chat about it so I kept my mouth shut.  She did her job and left, locking the door behind her.

     There is no clock in isolation so it is very easy to loose track of time.  You have no way of knowing just how long you have been in for.  I could not tell if it had been  one hour or 4.  It felt like 4.  I alternated between pacing and sitting on the bed.  There is nothing else to do and the boredum is mind numming.

     It felt like a very long time had passed.  I was growing more and more irritated by the minuet.

    "How much longer do I have to stay in here?" I yelled through the glass window.

     "Untill we open the door!" was there smart *** responce.

     I pounded on the door with my fists.  The thick steel door barley rattled.

A voice through the speaker said,"Stop pounding on the door right now."

     This is where I should have taken advice.  This is the part where I should have listened.  I was beyond frustrated and angry from being locked in a tiny room for God knows how long.  Anger was becoming all consuming.  I felt myself slip past the point of reason.  I had passed the point of no return.   I hit the door with my head.  I didn't care that it hurt. Even passing out would be better than this so I did it again.

    "Stop banging your head!" The voice in the cealing said. "He's not gonna stop, call, call them now.

     I don't know how many times I banged my head.  I just know it was a very short amount of time untill the door opened.  The entire door frame was filled with 6 very large men.  They rushed me and grabbed me.

     "Put him against the wall," it was the voice from the cealing but now comming from my room.

     The men did as the nurse instructed and pinned me against the wall.  I fought all I could but was really outnumbered.

     "No, leave me alone!" I yelled back.

     "Pull his pants down,"  the speaker nurse ordered.

     I felt one of the other nurses jerk my pants down.  Then she jerked my underwear down.  I looked over my sholder and saw the needle.

    "No, no don't," was all I got out before she stuck me.

     I felt all the energy in my body just drain right out in a matter of seconds.  They were still holding me against the wall but I could no longer fight.  I could not move.  I could not see.  

     "Put him in the bed," speaker lady ordered.

     I was completly picked up off the floor and put in the bed.  I ploped into bed lifelessly.

     "No turn him over," the nurse said.

     I was picked up and flipped over.  I felt the blanket pulled up.  I was quickly loosing conciousness.

     "Night night, " the nurse said as she patted me on the butt.

     That is all I can remember because I passeed out.  I would wake 10 hours later with a spliting headache.

 

 

 

 

Hour108 Hour108
41-45, M
12 Responses Mar 23, 2009

First, if you act up where I was at they pump you full of haldol to "see" if you calm down. Then if you don't, they put you in isolation. If you act a fool in there you get tied down to a bed. <br />
<br />
I never got the chance to do that but I witnessed many a times.

That is absolutely disgusting. I've always thought that mental hospitals try to take sane people and make them insane! After reading all the horrible stories on here, I now know just how true that is. Why can't something be done about this? This makes me sick! ESPECIALLY people who are "insane" should not be treated like this! This is not going to help anyone! Eww! I just can't get over this!

I think isolation just serves to agitate people. It's like being a caged animal. That was the first of many times I had to go there. It never got easyer.

i had an almost identical experience to this when i was admitted. i was put in there for the same reason (except i used a broken c.d instead of a staple)... It is kind of ironic how they feel the need to put you in a room that could drive a completely sane person Crazy, to try to make you less crazy?...<br />
actually, the more i think about it, the more i realize that everybody who was put in there had anxiety/panic attacks... <br />
they think they would put you somewhere comfortable for you to calm down. <br />
who's crazy now?

You can post the questions here and I will answer them.

Hi, my name is olivia. I am doing a reasearch paper on "mental hospitals" and how unpleasant they are, although I have never been in one myself I have seen pictures, and heard negative comments about them. If it is possible for you to help me with this that would be great, all I need is some questions answered... Thank you for your time. :)

By traveling down this path I did find the right medications and gain stability that has lasted for years.

Ah, do you think this experience helped?

I was about 35. Still remember it like it was yesterday.

Out of curiosity, how old were you when this occurred? <br />
This sounds terrible, I'm sorry. =/

That is just one time of many. The primary goal is to keep you safe from yourself, hence once you cut yourself in you go. Getting angry only makes it worse. There is very little that can be done plus I let it go but thanks for the comment.

I' am speechless and angry, they treated you like an animal not as a person with an illness. Is there anything that you can do about it? Like press charges or something like that. When you are in a mental institution I guess the goal is that you can get treatment for your condition so you can resume your normal life. If that is the treatment, then leave like I am now. Because I have more sanity than those working there.