2 Days Left!

So I'm about to go to Rehab, in 2 days. I have been before, 16yrs ago, but I couldn't stand it!! It was so strict, so many rules, I escaped out of a window after 3 weeks!! lol But back then I wasn't ready, I didn't want to change, didn't want to know! This time I do! Now I know I've got to do this! Otherwise I'll be another OD!! Dead in my bedroom!!
I picked a place that felt good. As soon as I saw it, and went round , I knew I wanted to go there! The atmosphere ,the staff, the residents ,all great! Its not all NA which I am glad of. I don't mind NA, but I'm not the greatest fan! This is a therapeutic community, in a beautiful massive old house. So glad to be given the chance to go, the funding etc. But I'm sick of being an addict, I want to break free of my chemical romance! I'm finished ,done! I can't get there fast enough!
So for 3 weeks ,I'll be ill, detoxing off the meth, downers , not looking forward to that!! But I'll have help, support. Then straight to Rehab, when I'm straight that is! LOL
Just worried about partner, as he is an addict too! He has 6-9 months to get himself together!! If he can't ,I won't be back. It breaks my heart, but I need to change! I can't come back to someone still using, as I'll just get straight back into it!!! I'm leaving daughter as well, she is 18yrs though. Its only now shes grown that I feel I can go! She is all for me getting better, but also both her and partner make me feel bad for wanting to leave!! Lots of emotional blackmail!! Its bad! Why can't they support me? I know I have done so many things wrong, but they don't think I'll change! Parents too, just as bad. Oh it sounds "Horrendous dear" said mum. WTF?? Surely its good me wanting to change?? Surely?? Well anyone, wish me luck as I'll need it!!! Thanks Cath
cath17 cath17
36-40, F
1 Response Jun 4, 2012

Of course its good you want to change. Just take it a day ay a time. I won't forget to write you. I hope you write me back.