I Have Had A Few Rounds With Rehab

My first was when I was 29. I was basically at animal level with using drugs....and thankfully the person I was dating was wealthy, and could afford to send me out of state to a small place in AK. It was basically like most of the other experiences here-meetings, counseling, coffee & cigarette breaks, chores, waking up at 6 am everyday - shifts working in the kitchen and cleaning the rehab....etc.

I think the most important thing that took place, was that I was REMOVED from the environment I was in, limited contact with others, no music and little TV (because all of those things could be triggers) and I had a chance to clean up and get my head on straight-and then learn wtf was wrong with me. And why couldn't I stop? Why did I keep hurting everyone I loved the most, including me, because of this disguisting habit?

Oh,and yes, GOD WAS THERE. Because after all, I was freakin alive after all ..... after how many potential car accidents, assaults from drug dealers or other users, and overdoses could possibly take place, and me not think GOD wasn't involved? He saved my life. He gave me a chance to make a choice for myself and stop letting the dope make my choices for me.

I did get in a relationship in early recovery,and that eventually ended in a relapse (relationships with others drug addicts-bad idea).

Needless to say,I'm alive today-to be a mom to my beautiful children, to see the beauty in this world, and to have a chance to have a life. Maybe to give back to society all the crap I took from it when I was out committing crimes, panhandling for money and putting others at risk everytime I got behind the wheel all f******* up on drugs.

I have a life today. Rehab helped me get here.
lagirl39 lagirl39
36-40, F
Sep 25, 2012