Kissing "frogs" Is Easy, Finding A Therapist Is Hard....

I've been in therapy since I was 15, so it's now officially a decade since I started, maybe even a little more.  Finding someone to share my life with was much easier than finding the right therapist.  I started out with a "newbie" therapist, overly cheerful who had no clue what to do with major depression and self injury.  She was fond of the quirky little things she learned in school.  she encouraged me to take SamE (piece of crap expensive pill that does nothing), meanwhile she had no medical degree and no right to suggest any medicines.  We played the "un-game" you know that, learn-about-your-patient game where no one wins or looses.  She totally lost.  I learned all about her, her husband, the expansion on their house he didn't know about yet, the four years they tried to have a kid naturally and then decided to wait for in-vitro... I learned a lot.  She learned I was still sad and still self injuring.  When I was suicidal and my mom had to put me in the hospital she didn't call my parents for days then said that she couldn't help me and she didn't know if anyone could.

Next was a slew of social workers in and out patient.  One I had was very good, the rest horrid.  I actually had someone tell me my problem was my sexuality and forced me to come out to my family.  I came out as bi (I thought it was safer than saying "i'm a lesbo!!"), but my parents didn't want to hear it.  Then came Nancy.  She sided with my parents, looked down upon my sexuality and my exploration of religions, and basically made me feel like ****.  I was lucky to have found the therapist I have now.  It was truly a cosmic alignment when I was placed inpatient in college (tried to kill myself) and they forced me to get a therapist closer to school (Nancy was 45 mins away).  Miracle of miracles I was matched up with the therapist I have now and finally I'm getting somewhere.

I've seen some of you post here and on the other therapy experiences about EMDR and let me just tell you- it's a GodSend!  It has helped me to process trauma and has made talk therapy that much better.  If anyone has suggested it to you, I suggest you read up on it first and get a feel for what it entails.  And if anyone has q's just shoot me a message and I can direct you to some great resources.  :)

For all of you still searching for your therapist, keep looking until it feels right.  You have to trust and be trusted in order for it to work.

PinkDancerAngel PinkDancerAngel
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 11, 2010

Thank you for sharing this. I've kissed a lot of frogs too...including one who swore up and down she wouldn't be swayed by my abusive father. It took him less than 10 minutes to convince her that *he* was an angel and *I* was seven shades of screwed up!!!<br />
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Thanks also for your words about EMDR. My current (fantastic!) therapist thinks that it could be a good thing for me...once I stabilize a bit.