My Disorder.

I started going to see a counselor when I was in third grade. I was very depressed and emotionally unstable. As I got older I had all the symptoms of bipolar 2. One or more major depressive episodes, At least one hypomanic episode, There has never been a manic or mixed episode, Another disorder is not responsible for symptoms, distress or impaired functioning, Decreased energy, Weight loss or gain, Despair, Irritability, Uncontrollable crying, Grandosity, Decreased need for sleep, Pressurized Speach,  Racing thoughts, Distractibility, Tendency to engage in behavior that could have serious consequences, such as spending recklessly or inappropriate sexual encounters, self harm, ticks in speech or movement, Excess energy...

I had all of that. I wonder why they didn't notice that when I tuned 9 and 10. I used to be so oppositional. I never slept. I became a cronic insomniac by the time I was 11.

I still have almost every one of these symptoms. I'm on certain meds for them, but still.

I can't figure out why they didn't realize it sooner. All my counselors just thought I was being a spoiled brat. I didn't understand...

I still don't understand why I have this disorder. You can really tell when I'm talking. I talk over people, interupt, and I have no control over it. I find that I have to, literally, put my hand over my mouth in order to shut up. I used to stutter a lot too. And if I am talking about something uncomfortable, that comes back, along with weird ******* movements. I don't know how to stop all this. I don't want a disorder. Meds and counseling only go so far.

absolutionist absolutionist
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 9, 2010

i kno how you feel..i went to the doctor today nd i just found out i have Bipolar 2..i feel helpless. i get mood swings..its mostly anger towards my family...i hate having this stupid disorder :(