Hi, I'm New!

Hi Everyone,

I'm Ruby and I'm new here. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a couple of months ago. I had been struggling with mood swings and severe episodes of depression and mania since I was 15. When I was 17, I was hospitalized twice and misdiagnosed with schizophrenia. I was in therapy and seeing a psych. for it, but I really didn't feel schizophrenic and the meds made me feel like a zombie. So I did the unrecommended thing and stopped everything. After a period of weirdness, I felt like MY normal self.

I managed for a while, but then I started feeling "crazy" again. I found a new doctor who said that this kind of misdiagnosis can happen sometimes. He put me on a low-dose cocktail, and I feel much better. The violence of the mood swinging is gone and I feel like I can function almost normally. I still don't feel "wonderful," and sometimes I am a little manic or depressed, but I know the signs so it doesn't frighten me as much, and I don't do the "crazy" things I would do before. So, I feel like it's a big improvement.

I hold down a full-time job and I'm married. The bipolar disorder does affect my marriage, but my husband and I work on it. He is very supportive, and I love the fact that he loves me in spite of this thing. We do not have any children yet. We want them, but I am afraid right now. I don't want to raise children if I'm not balanced enough.

Anyway, that is my story. Thanks for reading! I hope to make some new friends soon. I would love to be able to talk about these things with other people who understand.
RubyInTheSkyWithCheetos RubyInTheSkyWithCheetos
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 25, 2011

Hi Ruby, I'm Rubye spelled different but the same name. Having bi-polar isn't easy. I have bi-polar and I'm a wife and mom and have been dealing with it for many years. Its a journey and a bumpy road but you can work with it. I think the most important thing is to build and maintain support systems. Its easy to step away and say I can deal with this myself the truth is you can't. Keep looking for a counsellor and medication doctor that can help you. Being treated for schizophrenia when you have bi-polar is pretty grim to say the least. I have a second diagnosis of borderline personality disorder which is a trama diagnosis. I'm in my fifties and was living my life as twin teenage girls. I had a second set of twins in my mind that were babies and they held my grief and anger. This sounds really crazy I know but this is the way it was. Recently I went through a program of intense counselling called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I was in a type of group treatment center for 5 months. I had group and individual counselling for two years. It has helped to deal with the borderline personality disorder and ultimately helped with the bi-polar. I have two bi-polar episodes a year and the two this year have been the least distructive in my life. Most people have two a year but if the mania isn't treated and the cycle is complete you can cycle over and over. I have a lot of experience with mental illness through my personal counselling and working with emotional disturbed kids. If I can help you let me know I have had great support and would like to be supportive of you. Rubye

Hi. That was...really nice to read. I know a bipolar gal who has never sought treatment for her condition, and she's going through the things you've mentioned. I hope I can get her to read Your story. You suffered, but managed to improve Your life eventually to where You are doing better. There is no cure, but the right meds can really help. Thanks for Your story.

You're welcome. :)