Self Diagnosis

My name is Nicole and I'm 15 years old , about 7months ago I began feeling the pressure of the media do have a big bum , big boobs , hips , flat tummy , be tanned and it became overwhelming. I started comparing myself to models , celebrities and even my friends. It was upsetting but as time went on it got worse. I started wearing more makeup , hiding my body in baggy clothing. I lost a lot of friends as I never wanted to go out or socialise. I felt like nobody could ever understand , the pain was too deep and intense and I couldn't understand how I would ever overcome this. Instead of dieting and lots of exercise I became depressed , lazy and would sit in my house all day. My diet got bad , Id binge eat. I had to motivation. I realised I needed help thanks to my boyfriend who reassured me of my appearance regularly but that didn't help the problem at all. I'd cry myself to self , spend 5-6 hours a day worrying about things , staring at my belly which was not fat but not flat but I seen this as ugly , discusting , un-sexy and it made me sick. Quotes like curvy woman are real woman depressed me because I knew I'd never have beautiful curves and a gorgeous body , I'd never look like the girls in magazines. It hurts a lot but I would advise help. It only gets worse.
Niccibee Niccibee
18-21
May 7, 2012