My Experience

I've been suffering from BDD for over a year now and it changes with my mood. I currently returned to college and its gotten worse with the stress and it has prevented me from making and maintaining good friendships. Some days Im too fat, my thighs usually, and other days I hate my face. My nose is what I hate most. I like my eyes, and I get compliments on them, but just because I have nice eyes does not mean I have a beautiful face. My profile picture on here is black and white to some what hide my flaws. I know that Body Dysmorphic Disorder makes you see something about yourself that others don't, but I feel like I wouldn't have body dysmorphic disorder in the first place if I wasn't ugly. That's all my thoughts for now, but I've never discussed my problems with anyone else suffering from the disorder and so I thought it might help. Any Feedback would be GREATLY appreciated.
deleted deleted
26-30
4 Responses Sep 9, 2012

Me too :( I go through phases where I totally freak out and fall into a deep depression, like right now. It's my face it just looks so screwed up. People are constantly telling me I'm pretty but it doesn't matter, no matter how many strangers say it it just doesn't fix it. I am obsessed. I take pictures of my face constantly just to look at different angles, my nose is the thing I usually obsess over. I take video after video of myself on my iPhone, ipad, laptop... Comparing them. I do it front on and then move my hear around to see every angle then I watch them over and over :( I try changing my hair part, makeup, everything. I am naturally very thin and I'm okay with my body even though people make comments about me being to skinny that makes me feel like crap but I have always been like this and I like it I hate them for making comments about it. But my nose drives me nuts nuts nuts OMG. I feel like CRAP and no one understands I've never talked to someone else with BDD so no one gets it I hate it omg :(

First of all i can say i definitely understand, and it must be horrible for you. No matter what a person says it never feels true to us. I think it can even become frustrating to those tht are giving us the compliments because they see them as beautiful, but to us it's not true. I take pictures of myself not because i am vain as many would assume, but because it's part of me feeling the urge to excessively check various parts of myself. I hate having someone else take my picture unless i feel i look 'right' on the picture though. If i have my phone in hand i feel the need to check in the phone camera to check myself constantly, constantly feeding into the obsessive process. I realize i am feeding into it but stopping it is another thing though:/ Not sure about yourself, but the worst part for me is the worry and thought that when i am out people are noticing my perceived flaws and judging them and will mention them. I'm very consious about it.
Finding people that understand these kind of issues is hard which is the problem, but in my experience of joining this site i've instantly seen similararity of my issues with others here so you're definitely not suffering alone. If you need someone to talk to about your issues then feel free to message me anytime. As hard as it is talking out to people about it (which i can completely understand) it may very much help.

Hey. I'm a young woman and believe i have body dismorphic disorder. I'm constantly obsessed with certain areas of my body seeing nothing but flaws and i won't leave the house until i've performed obsessive rituals and gone over and over those areas. On top of that i am excessively checking in the mirror to check the flaws i see and to check i've got myself right. The list goes on, i won't bore everyone and write anymore lol, but yeah i definitely understand what BDD is and hope to get a diagnosis. I think it's good to discuss your issues with others with similar body issues, i'd love find others similar to me in my position themselves. It's very stressful and frustrating to have look at your appearance and never feel 'right', then get told you're beautiful etc, but the individual not been able to see it. Btw you're very pretty:)

I am glad i joined this site as it is gave me even more perspective of others that are experiencing the same sort of problems as i am, and realization that i am not alone dealing with such things. I am the same when it comes to having stressful days, this past few weeks i'v been feeling more stressed than usual and the body issues have been twice as worse, but the stresses stem down to sitting struggling and not receiving the help i need. It sucks really. I don't people many people really understand the extent of BDD, that's the problem:/ I've gone into shops checking my appearance in a mirror and thought 'hey, i look slim here' then others i see fat. Either way my general views are negative, but i can see where you're coming from there over different mirrors. I think some mirrors can give a distorted image though to be honest. I saw some documentaries online from past programs and i could from those see massive resembalance to myself, shamly i've never seen anything on television for BDD and body stuff. I think when you know you are waking up to something to instantly make you happy then that helps and knowing you have things to look forward to also helps, however for me it doesn't really reduce the strain mentally because of these self image issues. :(
To be honest i think this is the first indication that i do have BDD because i do understand what BDD is after reading into it fully and reading other people's stories of having the condition, however i also realize that we all generally dislike some area of our body. Just in this case it's a huge obsession of flaws that i struggle to handle, which as you said probably is BDD. Just hope to get diagnosis of it soon. I prob mentioned on another post if you ever need someone to talk to, i am always here:)

Aww :( I so sympathise with you sweetie I had OCD which I grew out of but then developed BDD I can't socialise without the paranoia that people are staring at my flaws... My main issues are my hair and my face and I think I'm way too fat although I have a normal BMI... I have resorted to liposuction 3 times, a nose job and a boob job and would have countless other things done if I could afford it :/ I think I am going to arrange to see a psychiatrist as I have lived with this for 15 years now and it just gets worse... Are you seeing anyone about your BDD??

i know exactly how you feel because im currently going through the same thing. one day il look in the mirror and il feel fat and the next il feel really skinny. its like no matter what i do, how many new clothes i buy to make myself feel better or how many times someone else tells me i look fine, its still there in my head. It does stop you from experiencing new things or making new friendships because your insecurities take over. When you talk to people, its like what are they thinking, do they think im fat? do they not like me?. your mind runs wild. I find it hard to speak to anyone aswell, because you feel like noone else understands.

Snap! You're spot on there! I go out the house and go town etc, but sitting in a room or work situation for me is extremely difficult and because it increases my anxiety, this takes it longer for me to get my appearance right in the morning, so then i end up not being able to get there. The issues have huge impact on me doing many things because of my insecurities and my thoughts being that overwhelming about myself, that the thought of being around people causes me a lot of anxiety issues. It's very distressing when you know you're having to hold back from things because you just can't cope with the social side of things. It all matches up with what MagillS is saying, i am fine too around a close friend or my partner, howeever meeting new friends and going out into new environments or social situations is so stressful to do. Like yourself i wanna be told i am flawless and skinny, average just isn't enough. You're definitely not just average though, i know you can't see it but you're a beautiful person:) Thing is i gues no one is perfect though its just so hard for us to realize that i suppose. I wanna look perfect too.