Sad

I try really hard to be thin, I practically look at myself every hour of the day to see if my body is what i want it to be. Im not overweight everyone says im crazy and im skinny but i dont see that i have cellulite on my legs and butt which for some reason disgusts me!! i hate it and cant imagine why any guy would even find me attractive with bumps all over my back legs, i see it and ask myself why is by body so ugly . its winter and im already thinking of how i can go the whole summer without being in a bikini and what excuses im going to make. Ive tried losing weight but i was scared of getting too thin after seeing the cellulite was still there. Is this normal or am i just over exaggerating has anyone else had these thoughts!