Feel Like My Life Is In Shambles Most Of The Time

I dunno how to even start other then I am here cause i have BPD and PTSD!!! I have tried to educate frienda and family and I feel like no 1 gets me it is so frusturating.. I then turn into a crazy thinking no stop mind rolling issues I wanna fix but can't and i just really feel alot of hatred toward myself and others, i have a really bad self worth of my self . Then comes the ISOLATION that i have no idea how to get outta of and the depression... I have struggle for years with this and just found out last yr. gotten into more struggle and not know how to deal with myself when it comes to emotion and feeling lonely and outta control. have bad relaationship issues and family and GUILT takes over me. I feel confused and forget things all the time and i feel so angry most times. I have went to intense programs and group therapies, but when i leave that famil i am overwhelemd and scared how to cope. I hate how i am fine and then can have a mood change and just wanna die . I want a new brain to see what it is like to think different. if anyone feels so all over crazy and wants to chat and talk about it i would love that. just is good to know i can do that and feel I am not as different as i feel.. well thanks for read and feel free to msg me :)
mezmereyez mezmereyez
31-35
5 Responses Jul 18, 2010

I wish I didn't.... but I understand how you feel. The confusion - I never know what the ***** is going on in my mind, emotions cloud everything. I'm doing therapy too but I can't trust anyone enough to let them help me. When your emotions are like loud speakers how are you meant to cope with that? Isolation sucks but it feels like a safer option. Not knowing how you'll feel from one minute to the next is soooo tiring. Thanks for sharing your thoughts - it helps.

Thank you good night

sleep well, goodnite mezmereyez.

i forsue understand on not knowing how to verbalize or anything, i try to think how to but get all fruturated andd fell like i am losing it, it really suck and I thank u for reading and commenting even if it made no sense, just know help

I haave never been diagnosed with bpd, propably because I have never seeked help. I also feel sometimes that I can't cope with the simplest things in life and I see other people and wonder If Im different. I wish I could talk about It but It seems so hard to verbalize. I feel like there is a void in my life that I can't fill. Your not alone. thanks for your post.